A Wake Up Call By The Cat

Good Morning and welcome back

 For those of you who own cats or rather have cats who own you, as seems to be the case, this blog entry is for you.  So sit back, get comfy and grab you favorite beverage of choice and join me on an adventure of a wake up call by the cat !

 I have a sign in our home that states, a cat doesnt have an owner, it has staff. I also have a sign that says cats leave paw prints on your heart. Nowhere in our half duplex do I have a sign that says, " cats, stinky little furballs who wake you in the worst possible way" However Im willing to bet I could be the next Bill Gates if I ever mass produced those signs. Cat owners around the world are nodding their heads in agreement. You see cats are demanding little creatures who demand (usually at the worst possible time) to be fed, to be played with, to awaken you from blissful slumber.

 I was having a great sleep, notice I said WAS , that is until at the first crack of a sparrows fart , or 6am for those of you with clocks in your bedroom, Spirit our adopted cat decided he should let me know that he and Moses were not only both wide awake , but also starvinggggggggg , come on now people help me here, they have dry food that magically keeps pouring down into their dish and at $22 bucks a bag ( thank god I get a work discount, medical your a wonderful brand but dear jesus do you make it with gold nuggets), they also have plenty of water and toys to play with. Instead Spirit decides enough is enough, he and Moses, aka mr personality have held out long enough, they want their moist food. DAMNIT !!! 

 For those of you who do not own cats or rather be owned by them, you may say something like,,, push them away, (trust me they keep coming back)

throw them out and shut the door( hmmm that doesnt work either, then you have two cats thrashing their bodies at the door wailing and going on so bad my duplex sounds like a really bad 70's porno) . It wasnt bad enough that he woke me up but it was how he woke me up that I have the problem with.

 I swear Moses sent Spirit to wake me up, First because Moses weighes 20 odd pounds and doesnt move for much unless there is food involved, Moses and Spirit remind me of Garfield and Odie, Garfield gives all the commands and Odie happily does them. Yup thats Moses and Spirit right there.
He sends Spirit up to awaken me also because , Spirit has the cute factor, hes a 10 month old creamy orange colored cat who looks and always will look like a 4 month old kitten , due to being born with an upper respirtory infection. And I will be the first to admit, HES CUTE. He is also a pain in my ass by times, take this morning for example.

  I feel him jump up on the bed, he nuzzles my head, licks my cheek and lays on my pillow so his little body is wrapped around my head. It truly was a kodac moment, and a moment was all it was.

From there he decides my hair isnt quite clean enough from my shower last night so he will wash it for me. He even threw in a complimentary head massage. His little paws were kneading my scalp I was feeling all relaxed and peaceful. When all of a sudden I now have a 5 pound cat on top of my head, hes digging his claws ( more like icepicks) into my scalp. He has my hair in his mouth tugging and pulling for all hes worth, and if that wasnt enough insult to injury he then shoves his ass in my face, wiggles it, spins around and then swats me across the head. Point taken lucifer I am now wide awake, my bladder is screaming as is my head and two "starving cats" are happily fed their moist food and for at least half an hour are satisfied.

  Yes my friends being the owner of or being owned by cats you decide. Is hard work indeed. But for all their early morning wake up calls, their furry asses in my face, and their daily ambushes, my life wouldnt be complete without them.

However if there were ever a mere twinkle in my eye with the thought of adopting another cat, well my friends that twinkle just flew out the damn window !!!

May you all be blessed with the sandpaper kisses from your cats and may they all leave paw prints on your heart. And may they make you so happy, you can say. I"m so happy I could shit rainbows and fart fairy dust"