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It has been sometime, January in fact that I have last wrote a blog entry, for that I apologize. So sit back, get comfy, grab your beverage of choice and join me as I tell you about "An Angel Named Fred"
I never got to know my grandfathers, my dads father died many years before I was born and my moms dad died when I was 3 but I have no memories of him as I never got to see him much. Instead I had an uncle who I guess was like a grandfather to me. Uncle Fred never married, he lived with my grandmother in the family homestead in Juniper New Brunswick. Uncle Fred was a taxidermist, he was also a guide for americans who would come to Carleton County to hunt and fish,snowshoe maker, canoe builder, furniture maker, he was a legend. Everyone knew uncle Fred. To me he wasnt just a legend, he was my hero. We would go to grams and before the car was even stopped I was running for Uncle Fred's shop. Mom would yell, get your ass back here, get in that house and kiss your grandmother. A quick peck on the cheek and I was off seeking my uncle Fred. The taxidermy shop was in the same yard as the house and it never took me long to reach my destination. I would fly the door open to the shop and yell I'M HERE" as if I needed to make an announcement. Fred would look up from whatever victim he was preparing to "stuff and say welllllllllllllll its about time, been waitin since 5am. I could touch anything in that shop and the choices were endless, at any given time you would find beavers, bear, deer, coyotes you name it, he had it and the best part was there was never any fear of being bitten because well,,,, they were all dead. My favorite place in the shop was the drawer that held the glass eyes. To most small kids seeing dead animals alone would scare the bejesus out of you let alone a whole drawer filled with glass eyes. But I was an exception to that rule I guess. His only "rule" was I had to wash my hands good when I was done, because as he put it there was no way in hell he was having the wrath of my mother on his case if I didnt. A quick wash up in the cold Mirimichi river would kill any germs and off I would race to grab a cookie from Gram's cookie jar.
Uncle Fred took me hunting once, and only once. We got up at the first crack of a sparrows fart , ate pancakes and trout caught from the river before I had even woke up, and we were ready to go shoot something. We walked for what seemed like hours me talking the whole time, even when I was little I had the gift of gab. Uncle Fred had a studder that would appear more often if he were excited or in this case pissed off. He turned and looked at me and said welllllllllll if you want to be able to sho sho shoot somethin you gotta stop talking and learn how to listen. Long of the short we never did shoot anything but we did stop and watch a deer eating. Uncle Fred told me later on the only reasons he didnt shoot that deer was A it wasnt deer season and B it was a goddamn miracle my yacking didnt scare it away. He always had a way with words, poet laurier he wasnt but when he spoke, you listened because behind each story there was a lesson to be learned, mine was talk less, listen more.
When I was 6 I got my very first cabbage patch doll, I was proudly showing that my doll was an original because his little bum had a signiture. Uncle Fred said come here for a minute, so over I went an innocent 6 year old kid. He said you want to be a cabbage patch doll, he grabbed me and quicker then you can say holy crap on a cracker there was I laying over his legs, my little bare ass showing for all the world to see and with a red pen he wrote on my ass FRED D GRANT. He slapped my ass, yanked my pants back up kissed me on the head and said there,,,, now your a cabbage patch doll. Memories, sweet sweet memories.
When my gram took a turn in her health Uncle Fred took over making the meals and let me tell you nobody could come close to making his homemade beans. Mishy Comeau asked him one time Fred how do you make those beans. Fred held up a bag of beans, Mishy poor guy didnt get what Fred was trying to tell him and said well how do you make them. Quick as a wink Fred said you open the bag and follow the instructions you stupid frenchman, that was our uncle Fred he told it as he saw it, if you didnt get it well that was your problem not his. Fred had a bunch of Americans in his shop one day along with a guy I would later in life work with in the veterinary clinic. Tony tells me this story one day while we are in a cat neauter surgery and he had me laughing so hard I ended up dropping the poor cats nuts that we had just removed onto the floor. He said this one american man kept rubbing and feeling these balls that Fred had on a string on the wall, the american was so infatuated with these objects he practically had them in his face rubbing them. He says hey Fred what are these things. Fred looks up over his glasses and says their ba ba ba the guy says jesus Fred spit it out what are they. Fred yells their BEAVER NUTS !!!! Tony went on to tell me that american dropped the beaver nuts as fast as I did the cats nuts but for different reasons. Lesson one while being in Fred's shop dont put anything in your hand and especially near your mouth without first finding out what they are.
Uncle Fred was able to spoil our kids as much as he did us. With my son Austin he took him fishing and like he did with me he gave Austin a nickname, Austin will always be known as "the little Indian Boy" I dont think he ever called him anything other then that and Austin never took offence besides saying Uncle Fred the proper term is Aboriginal boy, Uncle Fred said well Im not proper your my little indian boy. My niece Nicole went to uncle fred's for the first time when she was only 3 weeks old. He was uncle Frevvy for a long time and then Uncle Fred. He would buy makeup from Avon for her and never forgot her when he would go to the dollar store. He bought duck cookie cutters so he could make her gingerbread cookies in the shape of duckies. Her response was oh uncle Fred you are so very kind to me. That was our uncle Fred he was kind. I will never forget the first time Trevor got to meet uncle Fred. We all got together for a family potluck. Keep in mind my grandmother had 15 kids and they all went on to have large familes, even going there and just having the aunts and uncles is a houseful let alone when us crazy cousins join in on the fun and the food.
We are driving along and I said to Trevor, we are almost there, I can smell it. His reply was hun I know I keep telling you your family is from the woods but we cant be close yet there are no power lines is there indoor toilets or an outhouse. I reassured him that yes there is indoor plumbing along with woods on one side of the road, the river flowing by the house and yup you guessed it woods on the other side of the river. I also told him its a little piece of Heaven and your going to love it. For once I was right, he agreed it is a little piece of Heaven and he loves it there. We finally arrive and amongst all the people out comes uncle Fred to greet his latest guests. I say Uncle Fred this is my boyfriend Trevor, the men shake hands and Fred says so your the one whos going to marry "TITS" someday, she likes to talk alot,but we love her anyways. I guess I should have also mentioned to Trevor that uncle Fred gave me a nickname and yup you guessed it TITS it was. Trevor and Uncle Fred were fast friends from that moment on.
Fred loved the outdoors, he was always out hunting, fishing or cutting wood. If you got there and he wasnt home you would find a sign on the door that simply said in his hen scratch writing"Gone Fishing" I remember sitting around the huge table one night eating supper, I was at the back of the table by the window eating away when all of a sudden Fred jumped up, grabbed his gun, reached over me threw open the window and KABOOM shot a partridge. I was in shock, half deaf and most likely sitting in shit stained underwear. He looked at me, smiled and said there we will have partridge and pancakes for breakfast. Being a city kid this gave a whole new meaning to knowing where your food comes from, I had a front row seat !!!!.
Fred always said that when it was his time to die he wanted to be doing what he loved most..... Fishing. He wanted to meet his maker in his boat, his fishing rod in his hand and ever present rubber boots on his feet. On July 3rd 2011 Fred put the sign on his door "Gone Fishing" one last time. A while later fishermen found him in his boat, fishing rod in his hand and his rubber boots on his feet. The man who had so much love in his heart for his family his friends, for the beauty of what was around him died peacefully of a heart attack doing what he loved to do most. I wont tell you I didnt cry, I sobbed like a baby when I heard of his passing yet I couldnt help but give thanks for the man I considered a grandfather who gave so much, was granted his wish of going to Heaven as if he was off for the best fishing trip of his life.
Fred's funeral service was standing room only and through the tears there was laughter just as Fred wanted it to be. We laughed about times gone by, each niece and nephew talking about the special times they had with Fred and when the soloist sang the song "suppertime" I looked at my sister Janet and said there was no better song for Uncle Fred, you always knew when it was suppertime when you were with Uncle Fred. My second cousin gave Fred's eulogy and when she said each of us have special memories and for one cousin especially the drawer in the shop with the glass eyes I couldnt help but think even in death Uncle Fred can make me laugh. Thats how Fred was he surrounded himself with laughter, with love and with his family. God Speed sweet dreams.
May you all be able to have a person in your life half as special as my uncle Fred was to me and may it make you all so happy you to can say "I'm so happy I could shit rainbows and fart fairydust"
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