Whiskey For My Dog, And Farts From The Horses

Good morning to my faithful followers. 

I know, a whole week without a blog entry, but let me explain.  I have been busier then a 3 legged dog, trying to dig up a turd on a frozen pond. Between school and working with the vet, I have not had much time and am sad to report it has even cut into my consumption of fireball,,, a bit.  So sit back, get comfy, grab your beverage of choice and join me on a tale of whiskey for my dog, and farts from the horses.

Last Friday started out like most, I awoke to good morning kisses from Trevor, the I've got to pee happy dance from maverick, and the glares and ambushes from mr personality himself, Moses the cat. I also woke up with a slight migrain and the ever lasting taste of fireball on my palate.  Its cinnamon goodness got me through a rough night of nerves, and for that ,, Dr Mcgillicuddy, you are my hero.

 You see, last friday I had to overcome a bit of a fear, I have to admit although it hurts me deeply, that here I am a woman of the ripe old age of 33 1/4 and a vet assistant student,,,, is or shall I say was a bit afeared of horses.  I had to go to a horse farm, and not only look at these mammoth beasts, but also work on them.

 I soon found myself driving with a fellow classmate for 40 minutes, to the middle of butt F**K 
nowhere and my fears coming closer and closer with 
every mile we put on that little ford focus. My classmate
kept saying ,, are we getting close, I said you know you will
be getting close when instead of seeing cars on the road, you will
see ATV's and the occasional cow. She soon knew what I was talking about
when we were about 2 miles and a piece away from the farm.  She asked what I meant about "a piece" all I could think to tell her was, its not the kind of "piece" she was thinking of, much to my amusment, much to her saddness.


 We are the first to arrive at my teacher for the days farm, she greets us with did you find me ok? I assure her we had no problems finding her since she gave us wonderful directions, go up the road 2 miles and a piece, and its the only A Frame house on the road. I also had to explain to my classmate what an A frame house was, she thought I meant a Tee Pee, I said fo sho only this one has brick.


 I leave the warmth and the comfort of that little black ford focus for the damp and cold barn, but once my feet hit the dirt I felt like I was home. There has got to be something said for the aroma of fresh meadow muffins, to say wooo eeee we aint in the city no mo !!. I like the smell actually, fresh hay, clean air and the sweet smelling breath of large animals. Sure beats the smell of mavericks breath after hes helped himself to the kitty litter buffet.


 That day I decided to wear my lime green shirt, that on the front has a depiction of a woman riding a bucking bronco, on the back it says"git yer boots durty" my ever faithful jeans, hiking boots and a pink ball cap. I was fresh out of pink cowboy hats so the ballcap would have to do.  Pam loved my outfit, and was pleased to see that I was not a girly girl, when instead of turning my nose in the air to the smell of horse shit, said mmmmmmm I love the smell of a barn. Little did I know that I would be bringing that smell back home with me.


 After we all get there she tells us that we are going up the road a quartar mile and a piece to see a man about a horse, I got her joke, sadly no one else did and stood there for further instruction.  Back in the ford focus we go, although I longingly looked at her super cab pick up truck, with the allan jackson song , its alright to be a redneck stuck in my head.  We go see Mr Dorcas, he has clydesdales, mammoth work horses, who have a heart of gold. He also has some other horses as well. I took a pic of Mr Dorcas with one of his clydesdales just to show you how big this horse is,
pretty damn big isnt it? but an absolute sweetheart, 
as was Mr Dorcas. He told me to come back anytime 
little darlin(thats what he called me the whole time we
were there). I fell in love with a horse named Fiona she to was 

rather large, the song that came to mind when I saw her was "I like big butts and I cannot lie". Big ass , big heart she was a sweetheart for sure.

From there I go on a little adventure of my own, there is a smaller horse(those are the ones I have a fear of) giving me the look of come here you big pussy, Im not going to hurt you, and here my friends is the result,,
a lasting friendship !!!. This horse just wanted to snuggle in, give kisses and be close. We are now BFF's

 I can do this I tell myself, go see another one and see what happens,,, this my friends is what went down.
The beatles song"do you want to know a secret" is what came to mind. Listen, do you want to know a secret? let me whisper in your ear. Mr Dorcas was mightly impressed , not only with my courage, but for also knowing a good song, Mr Dorcas and I are now BFF's too.


 From there the fun ended and back to Pam's farm we went, where I worked my ass off let me tell you. I groomed the horse, did a bandage on her leg, cleaned
out her hooves, and led her around. As well as
listened to the lecture of the day. As I was grooming,
the said horse, by her tail she decided now would be a 
good time to lets just say LET ER RIP, she let a fart so 
big and so long it knocked the hat off my head, and made
my hair curl up. Thats gratitude for you my friends at its fullest
brush the horse til she is sleek and shiny and she farts in your face
I told her next time to warn a girl, I had my mouth wide open and 
everything, the horse by this time thinks its really funny and decides
to repeat the process and fart again.  By 4pm my boots were covered
in meadow muffins, my clothes reeked and my mouth tasted like horse
farts, it was finally time to say goodbye and enter civilization again.

 That night I was pretty excited about my accomplishments and decided to have a few shots of fireball, not much new there, friday is afterall fireball friday.  By the time I crack open the quart maverick hasnt left my side and this my friends is just how loyal to Dr McGillicuddy my german sheperd is --->. At least he has impecable taste.

 Obviously he isnt like me and cant handle his booze because after listening to roger miller sing chug a lug chug a lug, a few times, maverick "took a little slug , he drank it right down, I heard him moanin as he hit the ground"
  
So there you have it my friends, now you know where the title, whiskey for my dog and farts from the horses came from. *** Disclaimer***
 no animals were harmed in the making of this blog.I dont share my

fireball with anyone, not even the dog.
I can honestly say after that day on the farm
I came home and was able to say"I'm so happy
I could shit rainbows and fart fairydust. May you
all be blessed with overcoming your fears, and when
in doubt, do as I did, lean a little on fireball,that stuff
can cure anything from nerves to hemmeroids, and may 
you to be so happy you can say, Im so happy I could
shit rainbows and fart fairy dust.