A Life Filled With Animals , Never Has A Dull Moment

Hello and welcome back:

 I know, I know it's been a long time since I have wrote a blog, and for that "Lord I apologize"  Work has been taking up a great deal of my time, and for that I am thankful, I love my job even on the hard says, when all is said and done, I still love my job. I figured you would all want an update on the daily life and antics of our pets and I have a few minutes to spare before I get out of my warm cozy pjs and into not so comfy and far from warm scrubs. So sit back, get comfy , grab your favorite beverage of choice and join me on an epic journey of a life filled with animals.

 I awoke at the first crack of the sparrows fart this morning, and not to the sound of my alarm clock, or shall I say the one that has a gentle tone of beep beep beep, that goes off everymorning at 6:30am, instead I awoke to the sound of purring, a furry little body, a very rough tongue and good morning kisses, sounds kind of nice and somewhat kinky in a way doesnt it, sadly for my sake and your vivid imagination it wasnt the kind of wake up call that says whoooooooooo eeeeeeeeeeeee mama's happy. It was Spirit deciding that at 5:30am since hes awake,,, why shouldnt I be?

 I tried the whole pushing him away, he just ran faster, I tried ducking my head under the covers, come to find out, Spirit thought that was a new game and discoverd hes damn good at ducking under the covers as well, I put the pillow over my face, only to open one eye and discover one eye was looking at me, and it wasnt the one on the cats face, yes ladies I got the ole stink eye at 5:30am from a cat who should consider himself lucky to be alive. Spirit then goes from shoving his furry little ass in my face to now taking over my pillow that I have removed from my face, gives me the look as if to say, hey lady whats your problem? all I wanted in the first place was your pillow.

 I nicely get back to sleep only to be disrupted again, this time not by a cats ass, or any other part of his body, but by the alarm clock telling me my lazy ass had better get out of bed and start my day.  I can do this I tell myself, self replies, the verdict is still out on this one, but Im praying for you. This self person has new found religious views Im guessing.  My bare feet on the cold floor tell me two things, 1) That bitch we call winter has made its return and 2) I need my slippers.  I look for my slippers the whole while saying how bloody cold the floor is and when I find my slippers my feet as well as the rest of my body, mainly my bladder, will thank me.  Slippers are not in their usual spot by my side of the bed, I get down on all 4's looking for them when Spirit awake from blissful slumber decides COOL MOMS PLAYING A NEW GAME and jumps on my back. I feel like Im Steve Irwin and am wrestling the biggest baddest crocodile there has ever been seen, my many years of being a faithful watcher of his show taught me that a good croc always goes for the death roll, so I tucked and rolled, the cat went flying and my dignity was once again restored,,,, for awhile.

 I eventually found my slippers, they were in the bathroom and Moses felt that if he couldnt wear them they could at least be used as a bed, ever try moving a 20 pound cat who wants nothing of the sort? To put it lightly it was an ugly scene but yet again "The Cat Hunter" prevailed and my slippers were once again on my feet. I should have known by now that look Moses gives as if to say, hey lady you can think all you want that you won, but I WILL get you back, you will never know when or why , but Moses always gets what he wants.   From there I go to awaken the troops, from one I get IM AWAKE FOR GOD SAKES you and those damn cats woke me up, from another I get a grunt, still not sure which is worse, being yelled at or grunted at, I will let you know when I figure it out.

 Maverick by this time is doing the  I have to pee dance, and if you dont soon hurry up I assume no responsibility for the puddle on the floor, the dog is out, his dish is full, my coffee is in my cup, the kids lunches are made, there I tell myself,,, time for my whores breakfast, coffee and a smoke, when all of a sudden I am surrounded by two not so happy cats staring at me, and from me to their food dish, it seems as though I had somehow forgotten to give them their moist food, that my friends is breaking every rule possible. Before the cats start doing their kung fu kitty I feed them and because they looked so cute sitting beside each other I reached down to give them loving caresses, instead what I got in return was the evil eye from spirit, and a bat on the hand by moses, guess he thought I was going to dive right into his liver pate and have myself a feast.

 From there the kids have come down, grunted their good mornings, got their stuff and went to catch their big yellow limo to school, I turn around in time to see the cats under the christmas tree, freshly put together by  my loving hands yesterday, Spirit has never seen one before and as of yesterday took no great interest in it, moses on the other hand has seen them before and knows full well that given the chance this can be a cats dream . I clap my hands and tell moses to scram, I can see that look in his eye, hey wee man watch this, and could invision his fat ass scaling the top and knocking my angel to the floor, spirit by this time has taken interest in it especially now that he saw me put the run to moses. I see the look in his eye and the paw go in the air, I was on him like buzzards on a gut wagon, sadly for my sake just as I stood up and tried to make the cat scram, the dog thought I was going to hurt wee man, and ran to his rescue barking at me, and his mouth was so close to my hand I felt his breath, I stood there for a second thinking, maverick my protector just stuck up for a goddamn cat !!!! Thats  loyality at its best right there, an 80 pound dog protecting a 7 pound cat, what can I say, the cats are our dogs best friend. May you all have animals that in someways drive you nuts, but also give you that feeling like your home wouldnt be the same without them, and may it make you so happy, you too can say, I'm so happy I could shit rainbows, and fart fairy dust"

  

A Walk Down Memory Lane

Hello and welcome back:


 I know it has been forever since I have updated my blog, for that I apologize, I really dont have any excuse except for the fact that I have been busier then a 3 legged dog trying to scratch a turd off a frozen pond. I have discovered a few things in the last little while during my nightly me time of sitting in a room all by myself, doing nothing but thinking. It's kind of funny when you think of certain memories that you thought you had forgotten come rushing back when you actually take the time to close your eyes and carry yourself away from the stresses of life. So sit back, get comfy and join me on a trip down memory lane.


 I celebrated my 34th birthday last week, and Im not sure why memories started flooding in, maybe it was my brain telling me,, honey you aint getting any younger you better try to remember everything now while you can, whichever the case may be Im not sad I took that stroll down memory lane, it made me realize just how blessed and loved I am.  


 Trevor was able to be home with me the night before my birthday, he bought me the sweetest miniture cake, as well as a piece of cheesecake, we sat outside drinking coffee, and me eating cheesecake, no matter how often I asked if he wanted a bite, he kept smiling saying nope that ones all yours.  All of a sudden I felt a lump in my throat and my eyes got teary, I said to myself sweet jesus dont tell me Im allergic to cheesecake too, self replied no your not allergic your just mellowing with old age, it happens. Still not sure if I like this self person, but sometimes she has some good ideas.  So here I am sitting in a camp chair, my mooselegs up to my ears, gorging on delicious cheesecake given to me with the utmost love and all I can do is do my best not to break down and cry.


 Awhile later when Trevor said at midnight I can be the first to say happy birthday to you and I replied, no my birthday isnt technically until 8:20am, I knew why I was having a mental breakdown and not a deadly food allergy. You see, my dad always used to call me at 8:20am on my birthday and say" on this day (and how many years ago it was) I was out of town hauling a load of steel, when Ralph Savage called me on the CB, he said Town Drunk(that was dad's handle, he even had a belt that said that) are you on the air, Dad replied 10-4 rubber duck. Ralph said I just wanted to let you know that at 8:20am this morning you became the proud daddy of a gorgeous bouncin baby girl, my dad would then go on to tell me, that was the best message he ever got and one he would never  forget. Its been 8 years since we lost dad, and 8 years since I got that birthday phone call, I miss those the most.


  I also thought back to all the things my mom has done for me, now mom isnt your huggy kissy I love you kind of mom, you know your loved, just not told often, at least not in words, instead she shows you in other ways. That woman worked at least 3 jobs while not only raising all of us 9 kids but also had her mother in law live with her for 30 years and believe me I dont think that was always easy. But no matter how tired mom was she always made time for us, be it going sliding, playing cards, going swimming or making us the best ever homemade birthday cakes made into any design you could ever imagine, those cakes were the envy of any neighbourhood kid, most of them got a boughten cake or a betty crocker cake mix with matching betty crocker frosting, but not us kids, only homemade would do, I asked her once what her secret recipe was, she said LOVE. I remember most the teddybear cake she made for me complete with peanutbutter icing, chocolate chips and most of all,. love.


 I am fortunate enough to not only have a few siblings, I have ALOT, 8 in total, I am the youngest bringing the grand total of 9, us Craig kids made up our very own baseball team, a neighbourhood kid once told mom she loved coming to our house because it was just like the waltons, and she was right, we had a mother and father, a grandmother and a shitload of kids, but I dont remember us ever going to bed saying goodnight to each sibling, hell it would be morning before we ever got done.  I am quite close to my siblings, and have great memories of each of them. 

 Another memory that came to mind was my uncle Fred, he will be 80 next month but in my eyes will always remain young, never married and still lives in the old homestead, he was like a grandfather to me, my gramp died when I was 3 and I dont remember him, so uncle fred was next in line. I would go there to visit and he always had time for me, be it taking me out fishing, or letting me hang out with him in his taxidermy shop, I could touch anything that I wanted, so long as I washed my hands afterwards, cause in his words, theres no way in hell Im taking the wrath of your mama.  One time I went up and was proudly showing him my brand new cabbage patch doll my brother Ken bought me for christmas, his named was Donald he was bald, he was beautiful and he was all mine.  Uncle Fred took notice of donalds offical tattoo on his arse to proove that he wasnt a knock off cabbage patch doll. He said to me, come here I will make you a cabbage patch doll, he yanked down my drawers, bloomers and all and signed with a red pen, Fred D Grant on my bare arse.  It stayed on there for a week , no matter how often or how long I soaked my ass, and truth to be told, I was rather sad when it finally faded away, not many kids can say they got a tattoo at the age of 7. Now whenever I see him, he always asks, you still a cabbage patch doll, memories sweet childhood memories.

 While driving with Trevor to Nova Scotia last weekend, the sun glinted off the ring he gave me a few years back on my birthday, it has 3 diamonds, when he gave it to me he said, there are 3 diamonds , one for each of the boys, it was a promise ring, to show me that he promised to stay with me and someday an engagement ring would be on the finger my promise ring is on now.  I didnt know he was coming home that day because the day before he had sent me flowers(all my favorite kinds) as well as balloons, they had dragonflies and butterflies on them, the balloons and flowers are in my closet, a constant reminder of how much he loves me to remember that I collect butterflies and dragonflies as well as what flowers are my favorite.  I also cant part with the pair of monkey pajamas I was wearing when he gave me that ring, hopefully when he asks me to marry him I wont be in pajamas.

 So there you have it, when you take time for yourself, and close your eyes and open your ears its amazing what fond memories come trickling back to you just to show you how loved and truly blessed you are. May you all be blessed with love, laughter, family and friends and may you all be so happy you to can say "I'm so happy I could shit rainbows and fart fairy dust"
  

A Wake Up Call By The Cat

Good Morning and welcome back

 For those of you who own cats or rather have cats who own you, as seems to be the case, this blog entry is for you.  So sit back, get comfy and grab you favorite beverage of choice and join me on an adventure of a wake up call by the cat !

 I have a sign in our home that states, a cat doesnt have an owner, it has staff. I also have a sign that says cats leave paw prints on your heart. Nowhere in our half duplex do I have a sign that says, " cats, stinky little furballs who wake you in the worst possible way" However Im willing to bet I could be the next Bill Gates if I ever mass produced those signs. Cat owners around the world are nodding their heads in agreement. You see cats are demanding little creatures who demand (usually at the worst possible time) to be fed, to be played with, to awaken you from blissful slumber.

 I was having a great sleep, notice I said WAS , that is until at the first crack of a sparrows fart , or 6am for those of you with clocks in your bedroom, Spirit our adopted cat decided he should let me know that he and Moses were not only both wide awake , but also starvinggggggggg , come on now people help me here, they have dry food that magically keeps pouring down into their dish and at $22 bucks a bag ( thank god I get a work discount, medical your a wonderful brand but dear jesus do you make it with gold nuggets), they also have plenty of water and toys to play with. Instead Spirit decides enough is enough, he and Moses, aka mr personality have held out long enough, they want their moist food. DAMNIT !!! 

 For those of you who do not own cats or rather be owned by them, you may say something like,,, push them away, (trust me they keep coming back)

throw them out and shut the door( hmmm that doesnt work either, then you have two cats thrashing their bodies at the door wailing and going on so bad my duplex sounds like a really bad 70's porno) . It wasnt bad enough that he woke me up but it was how he woke me up that I have the problem with.

 I swear Moses sent Spirit to wake me up, First because Moses weighes 20 odd pounds and doesnt move for much unless there is food involved, Moses and Spirit remind me of Garfield and Odie, Garfield gives all the commands and Odie happily does them. Yup thats Moses and Spirit right there.
He sends Spirit up to awaken me also because , Spirit has the cute factor, hes a 10 month old creamy orange colored cat who looks and always will look like a 4 month old kitten , due to being born with an upper respirtory infection. And I will be the first to admit, HES CUTE. He is also a pain in my ass by times, take this morning for example.

  I feel him jump up on the bed, he nuzzles my head, licks my cheek and lays on my pillow so his little body is wrapped around my head. It truly was a kodac moment, and a moment was all it was.

From there he decides my hair isnt quite clean enough from my shower last night so he will wash it for me. He even threw in a complimentary head massage. His little paws were kneading my scalp I was feeling all relaxed and peaceful. When all of a sudden I now have a 5 pound cat on top of my head, hes digging his claws ( more like icepicks) into my scalp. He has my hair in his mouth tugging and pulling for all hes worth, and if that wasnt enough insult to injury he then shoves his ass in my face, wiggles it, spins around and then swats me across the head. Point taken lucifer I am now wide awake, my bladder is screaming as is my head and two "starving cats" are happily fed their moist food and for at least half an hour are satisfied.

  Yes my friends being the owner of or being owned by cats you decide. Is hard work indeed. But for all their early morning wake up calls, their furry asses in my face, and their daily ambushes, my life wouldnt be complete without them.

However if there were ever a mere twinkle in my eye with the thought of adopting another cat, well my friends that twinkle just flew out the damn window !!!

May you all be blessed with the sandpaper kisses from your cats and may they all leave paw prints on your heart. And may they make you so happy, you can say. I"m so happy I could shit rainbows and fart fairy dust"

Things I have Discovered While Being An Imsomniac

Good morning and welcome back

 Before you all start riding my ass like a crazed rodeo redneck,,,, let me explain.  Things have been wild here WILD I tell you.  First there is the college thing, might I mention a true pain in my ass at times. Then there is working with the vet, the sunshine of my life, my happy place and then there is the usual housework, making meals telling the kids its not my job to remember where they put things and reminding them to occasionally run a hairbrush through their hair. Then of course there are the animals or the "children Trevor and I were able to have together" as I often refer to them as. 

Maverick is the same ole pooch big, hairy and full of mischief by times. Then we have Moses aka Mr Personality, he hasnt changed much either, just got a little wider in the waist and a little longer in the tooth and still takes pride in his daily ambushes usually when I least expect them. Spirit our youngest furball is doing well, eating playing and is still and most likely always will be refered to as the BBLB, for those of you who dont know what BBLB stands for, it means booger blowing little bastard, having been born with the upper respirtory infection he sneezes and blows snot everywhere, usually I am his target, if Im not in sight my pillow is his second choice.  So there you have it now you know why I have been slack in writing my blog, so sit back get comfy and grab your drink of choice, seeing as it is only 10:09am here I guess coffee is my only option. And come join me on things I have discovered while being an imsomniac.

  All my life I have been told I am a high strung high energy person, I used to think that was great,,, that is until that bitch Imsomnia has entered my life. Knowing Im an imsomniac isnt the problem, the problem is finding out why.  I've tried the no caffeine after supper, the warm soothing bath ( in this house there is no such thing, there are either kids hollering mommmmmmmmmmmm or cats deciding oh cool the human is in that big white swimming pool that has water and whoop de doo tonight she must have eaten beans cause there are bubbles,,,, lets play in them) You may ask why dont I shut the door tight?? this my friends is the answer, its better to risk the chance of having a cat land in the water( which I may add they both love water) then to hear them yowl at the door and when that doesnt work shoving their paws under the door waving at me as if to say HELLOOOOOOOOOOO DONT YOU SEE ME!!!! cats are like hemmeroids,, a real pain in the ass and never useful but unlike the roids, I do love my cats.

 Being an imsomniac has its benefits I guess, I have discovered that cats may sleep all day but come night they are wild things on the prowl , usually by 4am they settle down. Did you know the birds wake up at 5am and begin singing for all the world or at least imsomniacs like me to listen to them and occasionally mutter these words, somedayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy someday Im gonna buy myself a gun lol.  Infomerials are freaking crazy, tell me this one, if Billy Mays died last year, then  why in hell is he still screaming at me to buy oxyclean ??? sure it works , we get that Billy but why even from our grave do I have to see your bad hair dye job gone real bad and  hear your screechy voice.

 Then of course there is Vince,, not only does he do the sham wow but he also sells the slap chop, cause you know YOUR GONNA LOVE MY NUTS. Hey Vince, thats right piss off an imsomniac enough and someday,,,, someday we will find you and see just how well that slap chop,, slaps YOUR nuts.

From there we are now entering Richard Simmons and his sweatin to the oldies, for god sakes man your a geriactric in support hose who looks like you have a chia pet on top of your head, ditch the shorty shorts cause honey that aint a good look , straighten your hair, and get rid of the tank top and scrunchy socks, Im guessing he wears the socks to cover the ends of his support hose.

 From there I switch to animal planet, you would think a person in college all day and working with the vet which includes working with animals, that animal planet wouldnt be on my top ten channels to watch, but sadly you are all mistaken, I get hooked I cant stop myself and 3 hours later I have watched a marathon of merecat manor and am pissed, PISSED I tell you that flower has passed away and the teenage merecats didnt pay attention while babysitting the young bucks and a goddamn snake ate them. By this time I fear going to sleep even if sleep came to me for fear that in my dreams I will be one of the baby merecats eaten by a SNAKE. 

 I by this time have switched over to TLC and whats on but the cake boss, someone pass me a gun right now, take me out of my misery, the guy simply put is annoying, everything about him is annoying his voice, his accent his whole freakin show, enough of this crap I say, time to switch over and watch the golden girls, Sophia is my favorite, she reminds me of my mother, short, older, full of spunk and might I add gas lol. Next its Good times where Jimmy whats his name yells DYNOMITEEEEEEEEEE, Im thinking it may take dynomite to have sleep come to me.

  Finally at 4am the cats of settled down, the dog is now awake from his 3 hour nap on my chest ( have I mentioned he is an 80 pound german sheperd) The golden girls have thanked me for being their friend and Jimmy has said DYNOMITEEEEEEEE for the last time , sleep starts to cast upon me I can feel it coming when all of a sudden I hear CAWWWWWWWWW at first I jump up and yell ELLEN I LOVE YOUR SHOW, sadly its not ellen screaming caw as she often does on her show, it is the flippin crows in our trees, from there the bluejay pipes in with his bit of gossip, the squirrels are running around looking for their nuts, hoping and praying to god that vince the slap chop guy hasnt slapped their nuts and the sun is now up. Imsomnia you bitch you won again but tonight you will not defeat me.

 May you all be blessed with peaceful sleep and may you wake up feeling rested, when that day comes for me I will glady shout "I'm so happy I could shit rainbows and fart fairy dust.

Things I wish I could explain to the cats

hello and welcome back

I know its been awhile since I have last wrote a blog entry, and to quote my hero Larry The Cable Guy "Lord I apologize"  But my life has been busy with school and working with the vet, and my other full time job, being a pet owner. So sit back, get comfy , grab your drink of choice and join me on an epic adventure of things I wish I could explain to the cats.

1) My alarm is set to go off every weekday at 7am, why must you feel the need to awaken me from blissful slumber at 6:59am expecting me to be all sunshine and roses, that extra minute really helps.

2) When Daddy is home and our bedroom door is shut, its for a reason. No amount of meowing, throwing your body at the door, or shoving your paws under the door franctically waving them to get our attention is going to work, I like your persistance though, it shows character.


3)  When will you ever learn that for everytime you get under my feet as I am walking to feed you, only prolongs your hunger. Also if you make me fall down the stairs and have my life flash before my eyes again you may end up waiting a full hour for my heart to stop racing before I can open that fresh can of moist food.

4) I dont need your assistance when trying to use the bathroom, I dont sit on your lap banging my head against yours as you sit on your litter box, also while we are on the subject, attacking the toilet paper as I am about to wipe my arse is not funny, painful yes but not funny, mental note,,,, time to clip your nails.

5)  Why must you groom yourself in the living room when we have company? are you trying to show off that you can put your back leg behind your ear??? Your not the only flexible little creatures in this house and some of us have longer legs then you.

6) Why , after you groom yourself incesently do you get upset if I happen to pet you exactly where you just spent 30 minutes grooming, I wash my hands with soap no less... yes Spirit,,, Im talking to you.

7) Why must you feel the need to assist me in the brushing of my teeth? I have been brushing my teeth for over 30 years and really dont see the need for you to wack into my toothbrush and drive it down my throat ! Thanks anyways, Dr Ramey would be pleased to know your concerned about my oral hygenine.

8) Why do you eat the worst ever smelliest food on this planet?? And then after eating your gourmet meal of salmon pate and quite possibly a little liver thrown in for good measure, do you have the desire to show your love for me by sticking your smelly little face in mine, and giving my face a bath with your stinky prickly tongue?? again Ive been washing my face for a very long time and I even use soap.

9) Why do you wait until I have finally just fallen asleep after another bout of insomnia, to attack my feet? Really are my size 7 feet taking up that much room on the bed?

10) Do you love me half as much as I love you? My life would not be complete without sandpaper kisses and life flashing before my eyes ambushes. Do I make you so happy you can say "I'm so happy I could shit rainbows and fart fairy dust"

To those of you who have pets , hold them close to your heart , spoil them rotten and be thankful to have them in your life. May you all be blessed with such great pets as we have and may you all be so happy , you to can say, "I'm so happy, I could shit rainbows, and fart fairy dust"

My Sisters

Hello and welcome back:

It has been awhile since my last post I know, but due to a nasty sinus infection that left me pretty much begging for mercy and leaving a permenant imprint of my dimpled ass on the couch, I didnt do much in the way of writing, hell I didnt do much in the matter of anything. I did however take little virtual walks down memory lane, I laughed , I cried, I took more buckleys pills and laughed some more. So sit back get comfy and join me on a walk down memory lane and let me introduce you to my sisters.

 I am the youngest of 9 kids, 5 boys 4 girls, the rest all have great names, Tim, Ken, Jeff, Janet, Susan, Stephen, Ross, Helen, and then me, I got the boring name, the one no one can pronounce let alone spell, plain old LoisAnn !!!!, They  were all blessed with middle names, I however was duped of that feat as well, Loisann is my full name, although I am usually only called that when in trouble from big mama. When asked why I got the name I did, I was told it was after my mothers 2nd cousin, cripes it may have been better if my name was after someone a little closer in the gene pool. I often told my mother how I hated my name and why didnt I get a better one, her response was, "after already having and naming 8 kids your goddamn lucky you werent just given a number. " I will say this, for as many cousins 2nd cousins and quite possibly the whole clan dating back to when Moses was floating down the river in a basket, I am the only Loisann !!

The only people who have the name Lois are all freaking crazy,,, let me explain, first you have the mother from the show malcolm in the middle, that crazy bitch cancelled christmas one year, she too has a mother named Ida and a sister named Susan,,,,, coincidence,,, I think not !  Then you have Lois the mother from family guy,  I digress ! She has an annoying voice, is married to a man who has a chin that looks like testicals and yup you guessed it shes freaking crazy.  Next you have Lois Lane, now this chick and I have been fiece enemies all my life, why you may ask,, well my friends when all your life you hear"hey Lois Lane, wheres Superman"? well up until I met Trevor I could have never used this line, but now when asked Lois Lane wheres your superman I proudly state," my superman is right beside me"


 Its funny how when your kids you never realize what sisters really mean, to me they were always older, got to stay up later, go on sleepovers, and for the older 2 sisters, got to experience the disco era and most likely dated guys in white leisure suits and fully understood the meaning of "groovy man" and how to do the jitterbug long before the song was made famous by George Michael, hell they probably even knew how to dance to "ah ah ah ah stayin alive stayin alive"
! My brother Tim truly rocked out his polyester shirt, platform shoes and yes you guessed it, his afro. Sometimes I bet tim wishes he still had the afro as he is now in his 50s and his hair is shall we say a little thinner.


 Janet was always dragging me around with her, where she went ,,, so did I ! She helped raise me because mom worked and dad,,, well he was a long haul truck driver and when he came home the last thing he wanted to do was hang out with the kids.  All my life people thought I was janets kid, after awhile we stopped telling people,, no shes my sister, we let them keep wondering ,pondering how a teenage girl in the 70s not only had a baby but openly walked down the street with her, it made for some good laughs and funny looks.
Susan used to let me tag along with her to, and I remember when I lost my very first tooth, sadly for susan it was lost into her right arm, the toothfairy still found me that night and it was probably Susan showing mom the bitemark in her arm that made mom remember to slip that shiny quartar under my pillow.
Next we come to Helen, now the poor girl was the baby in the family for 8 whole years until I came along.  Sure she liked me just fine while I was in the hospital, she said I was the reddest scaliest baby she had ever seen ( I was a month overdue and yes I did have flaky skin ), as soon as I came home from the hospital,,,, Helen moved out !!! Packed her bags and hitched a ride with family friends to stay with them for a whole week. Mom finally called and said when are you coming home, Helen said is THAT baby still there, mom replied yes and that BABY is staying, so Helen repacked her bags and came back home to stay.


  Looking back I see now just how many time Helen has been there for me, when her cat mable decapitated my little baby chicken named ping, and left him on the porch floor, headless and dead, it was Helen who took me rollerskating to take my mind off it and most likely to keep me from doing serious harm to her sex starved cat, that thing had more kittens in her lifetime, we got her when I was 3 and she lived until I was 19 and most likely still had sex right up until she died. 


 When at the age of 17 1/2 I found out I was pregnant with my son Austin, Helen was the first person I told, together we told my mother and a few nights later after spicy nachos at her apartment and a bottle of rolaids later we told my dad, not sure which was scarier, two pregnant woman full of spicy nachos and rolaid breath or facing my giant of a father to tell him his baby was having a baby. when my dad told me I broke his heart and stormed out of the room, it was Helen who wiped away my tears and most likely popped yet another rolaid in my mouth. Sure Dad got over it and welcomed Austin into his life, the first time he held him , tears rolled down his face and he told me how sorry he was for telling me I broke his heart, he said I thought my heart would break but after holding this little man my heart just grew even more.


Us girls have seen alot, been through alot , and have always laughed alot. When our sister Susan was diagnosed with breast cancer, we all stuck together we were more diligent with our own breast checkups( or operation titty touch as I called it) and through our tears we also laughed. To hear us go on you would think we didnt give a tinkers damn about what Susan was facing, but our laughter and joking was probably what got her through some hard days.
  We teased her about never having to worry about a bad hairday, how much money she would save on shampoo and when our brother Tim got married last August, we all took part in trying to figure out a way to tie her scarf around her little bald head.
Even bald she was as sassy and sexy as ever, we gave her a tricked out hairdo that day. As we were having pictures taken I found my eyes welling with tears, it was the first time all of us 9 kids were together and the first time our dad wasnt there with us. I looked at each one of my siblings and I smiled, because I realized we are strong, we are tough, we are family. 

 We may not say we love each other often, for those 3 little words seem very hard to come out, but what we dont say in words we show in other ways, phone calls, emails, in the summer and we are all home at big mamas, refreshed from long hours of floating on innertubes and air mattresses down the nashwaak river, to go back to moms, eat til we are about to puke, and sit around the bon fire and talk of years gone by, stories that usually include, 

remember the time Jeff and Ken got into a fistfight over a game of monopoly, someone put their fist through the gun rack , our nannie who lived with us would scream "Ida call the cops" mom would look up from whatever she was doing and calmly say, take er outside boys, I didnt clean this house for you two to get blood everywhere.  At the first sign of an argument, those were my nans famous words " Ida call the cops" quite remarkably,,, the cops nver had to come, moms words put more fear of god into them the a cop ever could have done.

If we could write a book on the things we did and the things we learned in that house, we would be authors of a best seller, instead we are rich with fond memories, laughter and wisdom we can pass down to our own kids.


 When moms house is quiet, if you close your eyes and listen closely you will hear a slamming door, shared secrets and plenty of laughter . May you all be blessed with great memories and terrific siblings, and may it make you so happy you can say "Im so happy I could shit rainbows and fart fairy dust"

Things Ive learned So Far In My Journey To Being A Vet Assistant

Good morning and welcome back

 As of Friday I will offically be done my vet assistant studies, and upon looking back to where my journey began these are the things I have discovered. So sit back, get comfy and grab your favorite beverage of choice and join me on another whirl wind adventure of "things Ive learned so far in my journey to becoming a vet assistant.

 I have learned that somedays your the windshield, somedays your the bug, I have had my share of being both the windshield and the bug. Ive learned that no matter how much you try, there will never be a cure for stupid, as Ron Tater salad white says"You cant fix stupid".  Ive also learned that on days when you think you cant do it anymore, there is always someone to say, you can do it, you will do it and we are proud of you, for that I would like to thank, Trevor, Teresa, Val , Diane and any of my other kook friends I have forgotten to mention.

 Ive learned that my father was right when he used to tell me"to never try is to fail" thanks dad, even from heaven your advice is still helpful.  Ive learned that coffee and lots of it will get you through a 5 hour cramming session and make it feel like you have only been cramming for an hour, Ive learned that when you study before bed, often times you dream of animals, most times its never a good thing, the horses are still out to get me.

Ive also learned that when a horse farts, they always get you when your nearest to their arse and even though you may have spent the better part of an hour straightening your hair,your efforts went to hell in a handbag, cause after a 900 pound horse decides to let one rip, you now have curly hair that would put shirley temple to shame.  Ive learned that there will never be a bad day in your life so long as you have loving arms to hold you tight, lips to kiss away your tears and words of encouragement, Thank you Trevor, I dont know where I would be without you.

 Ive learned that after a rough day at the vet clinic, there is always an abundance of doggie kisses and ambushes from the cats to make you forget about your day, thank you maverick, moses and spirit, my furbabies you will always be.

  Ive learned that cows produce 100 pounds of farts a day, Im not sure who the poor bastard was that had to sit in close proximity to measure the amount of butt trumpets, but whoever you are, thank you for bringing that to my attention, its always something I will remember from large animal medicine.  

Ive learned your never to old to conquer your fears, I am proud to say I am no longer afraid of horses, just a little more cautious when working around their arse, and rats no longer make me panic, kids if your reading this, it does not mean I will allow a rat to live in our home. 

Ive learned that sometimes theres always going to be a  hemmeroid in your life that no amount of cream can cure, I have also learned that my sense of humour has gotten me through alot of rough days.

And I have learned that Fireball is the cure all for everything from a cough to the worst case of the roids known to man kind. It either burns the little bastards away or gets you so drunk you forgot you had them in the first place, the jury is still out on this one, but after friday night and a quart of fireball I may be able to better answer that question.

 The most important thing I have learned is, Animals have no voice, we have to be their voices, to speak for them when they are sick, unloved and unwanted. I know I am taking the right path to a great profession, my father always said I had more tongue then a mounties boot. I will use that to be an animals voice. 

And I have learned that I am proud of myself, for having the courage to go to college, to be able to look in the mirror everyday and like who I see, who I am and who im going to be.  Ive also learned that a good many days Ive been able to say, "I'm so happy I could shit rainbows and fart fairy dust". And may you to all be blessed with such happiness that you to can say

  "I'm so happy I could shit rainbows, and fart fairy dust"

MESSAGE FROM MOSES

Greetingsssssss Infidelssssssss


 It is me Moses the cat ! I have hidden the human's camera and extra batteries and slipped a healthy dose of fireball into her coffee when she wasnt looking. She is now sleeping with drool hanging off her lip and has a fireball induced haze look on her face.  Pay back to her for ambushing me with a brand new kitten !!!  Let me fill you in on a little secret infidellllssssss, I may look like a cat, smell like a cat and deposit fresh meadow muffins in a litter box like a cat, but in my heart of hearts, I AM A DOG !!!! 


 I dont like cats ! or so I thought.  She brings this new creature into MY home Tuesday, she didnt even let a brother know before hand, just carries him in expecting me to say ohhhh look a new cat !  I looked at this little orange fluff ball and all I could think was mmmmmmmm LUNCH ! I hissed, I was pissed, not so much at the cat but at the human.  I growled, I hissed, I got even !


 And what does the human do??? says oh Moses get over it you DRAMA QUEEN !!!! I'll KILLLL YOUUUU" is what first came to mind, but Im not a violent fellow so I took off upstairs and rubbed my ass all over her pillow. Nothing brings a good night sleep better then the fresh smell of cat ass on a pillow.  I laughed, the human didnt.  I must say I did have fun making her life hell for 3 days. You see when she wasnt looking, small fry and I have become pretty good pals. His real name is like me a holy name, a name sent down from Heaven, his name is " Spirit" but hes so puny I call him small fry, he doesnt mind.


 The human even brought in moist food, warmed in that metal contraption that dings when its done, 15 seconds, no more no less and I am in liver pate extasy !!.  The human caught us eating together yesterday DAMNIT my gig is up, she even captured it on her camera. She is gloating,, yes I won I won. I was feeling generous so I didnt have the heart to tell her, you didnt win shit, we have been pals since you brought him home, its just never been when you were looking.  Small fry/spirit is a funny little fellow, he sleeps, eats, takes a shit in the litterbox as she sits down to eat her human food, perfect I say another body in the house who will go along with my evil plan of plotting innocent ambushes just to see the human fall on her ass.


 " The God" FINALLY arrives home today, thank you jesus for that, he has been away all week and it has left the human to be a garage door widow and me a "garage door orphan" "My God" will give me all the belly rubs and moist food I want, "My God" is an awesome god.  The beast is surely enjoying this new cat , he grooms him so much its a wonder the cat has any fur left on him. Cause you know there has got to be something said for a bald pussy MEOWWWWWWWW  !!!!  I didnt believe the human when she told me that spirit is 6 months old, he looks like hes 3 months. So I asked him to produce some evidence, first he stuck his ass in my face and said "DO YOU SEE ANY NUTS" ok point taken, like me he is nutless, he then opens his mouth wide and says "do these look like kitten teeth to you" I quickly reply "NO SIR they dont but holyyyyy shitttttttttt are we going to have fun attacking her feet while she sleeps now."


 So let me be the first to admit to you all,,,,,, I like "Spirit" hes tiny but hes mighty, hes fearless, even when I got all up in his grill and bitch slapped him, he looked at me as if to say oh no you didnt mutha f**ka, so there you have it my infidels, we are bro's from different Ho's. But the human best not think another cat would be so welcomed into our home, us brothas has got to stick togetha on this one.


 May your lives all be filled with catnip highs and liver pate dreams, and may you all be so happy  you can say "I'm so happy I could shit rainbows and fart fairy dust"  Now I need to go revive the human, get her up and cleaning the love shack before "The God" arrives home, and it will be funny for small fry and I to trip her up as she vacuums.

Whiskey For My Dog, And Farts From The Horses

Good morning to my faithful followers. 

I know, a whole week without a blog entry, but let me explain.  I have been busier then a 3 legged dog, trying to dig up a turd on a frozen pond. Between school and working with the vet, I have not had much time and am sad to report it has even cut into my consumption of fireball,,, a bit.  So sit back, get comfy, grab your beverage of choice and join me on a tale of whiskey for my dog, and farts from the horses.

Last Friday started out like most, I awoke to good morning kisses from Trevor, the I've got to pee happy dance from maverick, and the glares and ambushes from mr personality himself, Moses the cat. I also woke up with a slight migrain and the ever lasting taste of fireball on my palate.  Its cinnamon goodness got me through a rough night of nerves, and for that ,, Dr Mcgillicuddy, you are my hero.

 You see, last friday I had to overcome a bit of a fear, I have to admit although it hurts me deeply, that here I am a woman of the ripe old age of 33 1/4 and a vet assistant student,,,, is or shall I say was a bit afeared of horses.  I had to go to a horse farm, and not only look at these mammoth beasts, but also work on them.

 I soon found myself driving with a fellow classmate for 40 minutes, to the middle of butt F**K 
nowhere and my fears coming closer and closer with 
every mile we put on that little ford focus. My classmate
kept saying ,, are we getting close, I said you know you will
be getting close when instead of seeing cars on the road, you will
see ATV's and the occasional cow. She soon knew what I was talking about
when we were about 2 miles and a piece away from the farm.  She asked what I meant about "a piece" all I could think to tell her was, its not the kind of "piece" she was thinking of, much to my amusment, much to her saddness.


 We are the first to arrive at my teacher for the days farm, she greets us with did you find me ok? I assure her we had no problems finding her since she gave us wonderful directions, go up the road 2 miles and a piece, and its the only A Frame house on the road. I also had to explain to my classmate what an A frame house was, she thought I meant a Tee Pee, I said fo sho only this one has brick.


 I leave the warmth and the comfort of that little black ford focus for the damp and cold barn, but once my feet hit the dirt I felt like I was home. There has got to be something said for the aroma of fresh meadow muffins, to say wooo eeee we aint in the city no mo !!. I like the smell actually, fresh hay, clean air and the sweet smelling breath of large animals. Sure beats the smell of mavericks breath after hes helped himself to the kitty litter buffet.


 That day I decided to wear my lime green shirt, that on the front has a depiction of a woman riding a bucking bronco, on the back it says"git yer boots durty" my ever faithful jeans, hiking boots and a pink ball cap. I was fresh out of pink cowboy hats so the ballcap would have to do.  Pam loved my outfit, and was pleased to see that I was not a girly girl, when instead of turning my nose in the air to the smell of horse shit, said mmmmmmm I love the smell of a barn. Little did I know that I would be bringing that smell back home with me.


 After we all get there she tells us that we are going up the road a quartar mile and a piece to see a man about a horse, I got her joke, sadly no one else did and stood there for further instruction.  Back in the ford focus we go, although I longingly looked at her super cab pick up truck, with the allan jackson song , its alright to be a redneck stuck in my head.  We go see Mr Dorcas, he has clydesdales, mammoth work horses, who have a heart of gold. He also has some other horses as well. I took a pic of Mr Dorcas with one of his clydesdales just to show you how big this horse is,
pretty damn big isnt it? but an absolute sweetheart, 
as was Mr Dorcas. He told me to come back anytime 
little darlin(thats what he called me the whole time we
were there). I fell in love with a horse named Fiona she to was 

rather large, the song that came to mind when I saw her was "I like big butts and I cannot lie". Big ass , big heart she was a sweetheart for sure.

From there I go on a little adventure of my own, there is a smaller horse(those are the ones I have a fear of) giving me the look of come here you big pussy, Im not going to hurt you, and here my friends is the result,,
a lasting friendship !!!. This horse just wanted to snuggle in, give kisses and be close. We are now BFF's

 I can do this I tell myself, go see another one and see what happens,,, this my friends is what went down.
The beatles song"do you want to know a secret" is what came to mind. Listen, do you want to know a secret? let me whisper in your ear. Mr Dorcas was mightly impressed , not only with my courage, but for also knowing a good song, Mr Dorcas and I are now BFF's too.


 From there the fun ended and back to Pam's farm we went, where I worked my ass off let me tell you. I groomed the horse, did a bandage on her leg, cleaned
out her hooves, and led her around. As well as
listened to the lecture of the day. As I was grooming,
the said horse, by her tail she decided now would be a 
good time to lets just say LET ER RIP, she let a fart so 
big and so long it knocked the hat off my head, and made
my hair curl up. Thats gratitude for you my friends at its fullest
brush the horse til she is sleek and shiny and she farts in your face
I told her next time to warn a girl, I had my mouth wide open and 
everything, the horse by this time thinks its really funny and decides
to repeat the process and fart again.  By 4pm my boots were covered
in meadow muffins, my clothes reeked and my mouth tasted like horse
farts, it was finally time to say goodbye and enter civilization again.

 That night I was pretty excited about my accomplishments and decided to have a few shots of fireball, not much new there, friday is afterall fireball friday.  By the time I crack open the quart maverick hasnt left my side and this my friends is just how loyal to Dr McGillicuddy my german sheperd is --->. At least he has impecable taste.

 Obviously he isnt like me and cant handle his booze because after listening to roger miller sing chug a lug chug a lug, a few times, maverick "took a little slug , he drank it right down, I heard him moanin as he hit the ground"
  
So there you have it my friends, now you know where the title, whiskey for my dog and farts from the horses came from. *** Disclaimer***
 no animals were harmed in the making of this blog.I dont share my

fireball with anyone, not even the dog.
I can honestly say after that day on the farm
I came home and was able to say"I'm so happy
I could shit rainbows and fart fairydust. May you
all be blessed with overcoming your fears, and when
in doubt, do as I did, lean a little on fireball,that stuff
can cure anything from nerves to hemmeroids, and may 
you to be so happy you can say, Im so happy I could
shit rainbows and fart fairy dust.



 

The Circle Of Life

Good morning to my faithful followers.

Today is a day filled with bittersweet memories, so sit back, get comfy and grab your favorite beverage of choice, and join me on a journey of "the circle of life"

 Three years ago today is a day I will never forget, it was a sad day, a hard day and one I hope I never have to go through again.  You see on this day I had to say goodbye to a loyal faithful friend, his name was Bear .  Bear was the first pet I got when I moved from the comforting shelter of my parents home , and into my own place. 

I went to the SPCA and immedietly fell in love with a little black ball of fur, whos tail curled high up on his back so much he looked like a little cinnamon bun.  I didnt adopt Bear, he adopted me. As soon as I walked over to his cage , he left his bowl of kibble to come and greet me and lordy be what a greeting it was.  He pressed his little body up against the gate, took his tiny little paw and shoved his dog bone under the gate, looked up at me and back down at the bone as if to say its ok friend I want you to have it. 

 From that moment on he and I were like peas and carrottsssss. He wasnt what you could really call the most beautiful looking specimin but what he lacked in beauty he surely made up for in love.   He loved not only me , but also the boys , he loved our cat and he hated my now ex husband.  Bear didnt come with a pedigree he was a black lab mix but he was loyal, protective and always listened to me when I wanted to talk.  He also helped me through some very tough times in my life, he was there to help heal me after my hysterectomy, he licked away my tears when I lost my dad , he gave me a huge hi 5 when I finally got smart and kicked my now ex hubands ass to the curb. His last horrah for my ex husband was to show a full set of teeth and believe me he wasnt smiling, for that matter either was the ex husband.

 Bear not only accepted Trevor he LOVED Trev, we used to say Bear would soon forget his mama when Daddy came home.  He gave me 8 wonderful years of doggie kisses, wagging tails and constant companionship. Sadly on April 20th 2007 Bear became very sick.  I knew he wasnt doing well and the night before I took him to the vet( the one I am now shadowing) I told the boys to spend time with him, tell them they love him and enjoy being with him because if it were something bad I couldnt and wouldnt let him suffer.  

 That night each boy took their turn with bear, the hardest one to watch say goodbye was Luke, he laid on the couch with this animal who had been in his life since before he was even in school. He held bear close and let one tear slowly roll down his cheek.  As we went to bed that night with heavy hearts, Bear used what little strength he had and came upstairs, went into each boys room, licked their face and then came to me, with my help he laid beside me one last time on our bed.  

 I took him into the vet the next morning, and the news I got made me sink to my knees. Cancer she said and its not good, it had spread all through his once vigerous body and he was suffering.  I held him close, told him I loved him and thanked him for everything he did for me. His goodbye gift to me before he slipped away was ,,, he once again licked my tears away.  I told the vet I am never going to get another dog, her words were this, you will get a dog again when you least expect it but need it the most.

 That night , Trevor made it home, it was a very somber night, the kids went to bed without being told, Luke took Bears favorite stuffed animal to bed with him and continued to do so for a full straight month. Trevor held me close, told me he loved me, that I did the right thing and he kissed my tears away.

 3 Months later I am in the shower, not doing very well in all reality. I felt as though not only did I lose my best friend, I had also lost my sense of security, he was very protective.  As I am washing my hair I hear the name Maverick, not having a clue why, but wondering if maybe I didnt need some medical help I got out of the shower to the ringing of the telephone. 

 It was my best friend calling, a man she worked with had a litter of german sheperd puppies, one was left and needed a home, I said when can I pick him up?  The moment I saw him I said "your Maverick" , I also learned that day that when God has to take one angel, he sends down another to help ease your pain. 

Maverick was born April 20th 2007, the very day we had lost bear.  It was almost as if Bear knew I was hurting, having a hard time moving on and hand picked maverick for us. Maverick came home with me that day, and the first thing he did when I saw him was bury his little face into my neck, he looked up , saw my tears and like his brother before him licked them away. 

 Maverick can never replace bear, but they do have alot of the same characteristics , protective, loving, loyal and halarious. Never a day goes by without that dog doing something that makes me laugh. And like his brother before him, maverick loves me but seems to forget I exist when Trevor is home, it must be a guy thing.

 May you all be blessed with the pitter patter of doggie paws, and may you all be so happy you can say"I'm so happy, I could shit rainbows, and fart fairydust"

Songs that make me smile. make me happy , and help me remember

Good morning my loyal fans. Today I will be writing about music, songs I love, that make me smile. make me happy and help me remember. So sit back get comfy and grab your drink of choice and join me on a journey of music and my love for it.

 Ever since I was a little girl I have held music close to my heart. Legend has it that by the age of 3 I not only knew all the words to "wasnt that a party, by the Irish Rovers" I would also sing it to anyone or anything that would listen. My legions of fans back then included my dad, my nannie and often times my dolls. I would use an icecream scoop for a microphone, and an old beat up 6 string guitar, whos strings has long ago broke and were now replaced by fishing line. Yes my friends I was the next generation of Patsy Cline with a dash of Loretta Lynn thrown in for good measure.  

 Now my fans include Trevor and the dog and cat, the kids groan, make the motion of not only tipping the bottle to their lips but often times pretending to put a gun to their heads. I listen to anything from Rob Zombie right down to classical, with a very healthy dose of country, country music is like a fine bottle of whiskey. The older the better, but then again whiskey never lasts long enough in my house for me to attest to that. LADIESSSSSSSSS are you with me?  I however am not a huge fan of rap or Retards attempting poetry as I like to refer to it as. So I figured I would share some of my alltime favorite songs with you and hopefully take you all back to a time in your life when something happened that made you happy and everytime you hear a song its like magic, your back in that moment again.


1) Girl on the billboard- Del Reeves.  This is a catchy little country song from the 50's there is just something about the lyric do do do a do do do do, that gets my feet a tappin and a smile on my face like a cat with a strawberry flavored arse.


2) Dont come home a drinkin with lovin on your mind- Loretta Lynn. This was my mothers love song to my father, and I am thinking daddy musta come home with lovin on his mind at least 9 times and most likely with the distinct smell of rum on his breath. 


3) Knock 3 times on the ceiling if you want me- Freddy Fender- Again there must have been some knockin on ceilings in our house. Dad had two friends who would come over every weekend and they would sing this song as well as wasted days and wasted nights, again by Freddy Fender. Childhood memories at there best.


4) Do you know you are my sunshine- The Statler Brothers. My dad used to take me for a drive in his transport truck and everytime this song would come on he would sing it to me. 


5) Chug a lug chug a lug- Roger Miller.  This guy had to have been drinking fireball when he wrote this classic, it sounds exacly how I feel as that cinnamon goodness hits my throat. Chug a lug chug a lug, make you wanna holler hi de ho, burns your tummy dont you know, chug a lug chug a lug.


6) White lightening- George Jones. Again the possum was on the fireball when he wrote this song too. I took a little sip, and right away I knew, as my eyes bugged out and my face turned blue, lighten started flashin , thunder started crashing, wooooooooo white lightenin.


7) Little Baby ducks- Tom T Hall. Another one my dad sang to me, I love little baby ducks,old pick up trucks,slow movin trains and rain. I love little country streams, sleep without dreams, Sunday school in May and hay, and I loveeeeee you to. The song is so special to me that when Trevor and I get married I want my brother Ken who will be giving me away to dance with me to that song. Simply put its like having a little piece of my dad with me everytime I hear the song.


8) Harper Valley PTA- this song cracks me up no better way to discribe it. Catchy lyrics, snappy beat and it makes me smile. Give me a few shots of fireball and I will belt this one out like there is no tomorrow.


9) Anything by Neil Young !!!! I grew up listening to the legend singing anything from Ohio to harvest Moon and no matter where I am if a Neil Young song comes on I am not shy to sing along.


10) Here Comes the Sun- The Beatles. My middle son Luke was born to the line of here comes the sun do do do do , here the comes the sun and I say its alright. It was a fitting song because everything did turn out alright and he is my sunshine.


11) Rose colored glasses- Blue Rodeo. Isaac's song, my last little bundle of energy came into the world to Greg Keelor singing , she sees the world through rose colored glassesssssssssss and I do in a way even though the tint on my specs are more brown the red I still love the song.


12) Anything by Jimmy Rankin !! or as I like to refer to him as "My Jimmy" hes a hot little number from Mabou Cape Breton , he has a voice like an angel and an ass so tight im willing to bet you could bounce a quarter off of, I was willing to try when I saw him in concert but my best friend held me back, most like to my Jimmys great relief ! mmm my jimmy.


13) Half your age- Kid Rock. I love this song because the lyrics state, I found someone new, who treats me better, she dont bitch about things we aint got, and when I sleep til noon, it dont upset her, shes half your age,,, and twice as hot. my favorite line is she likes it in the morning and she loves my mama, and I would have to agree to both of those statements, Trevor's mama is the best.


14) Baby did a bad bad thing- Chris Isaak. Oh you know it baby !!! now there is a hot little song right there, ladiesssssssssss are you with me? my theory is this, if baby didnt do a bad bad thing,, baby is willing to try all Im missing is the stripper pole and a pair of high heeled shoes or so Val tells me.


15) Guitar Town- Steve Earle. Actually anything by the Duke is awesome. However this one gets me movin and again much to the kids utter horror singing.


16) Father and Daughter- Paul Simon. Again a song that makes me think of my dad," there will never be a father who loves his daugher like I love you"

17) Redneck Girl-The Bellamy Brothers. Trevor who is not a country fan actually asks to hear this song. He calls me his little redneck girl. Redneck girl's got his name on the back of veil, shes got a kiss on her lips for her man and no one else" thats my favorite line. 


18) CCR again anything by them , I missed out on their concert back in 1997 instead I got married that day, could have saved myself a shitload of heartache, and money for the Divorce and gone to hear some good music lol


19) D. I. V.O.R.C.E- Tammy Wynette- nice little segway into that one eh, this song makes me laugh because the day of my divorce hearing my sister Helen called me at the first crack of a sparrows fart to sing this to me, I get off the phone with her and my other sister Janet calls and sings the same thing, us girls are crazyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.


20) CRAZY- Gnarles Barkley- I remember , I remember when I lost my mindddddddd , Trev and I heard this on the radio on our way to his christmas party last year, we were goin down the highway with this song cranked and we were wailing away to it, makes me laugh everytime I hear it.


21) Annies Song- John Denver. You fill up my senses , like a light in the forest, sadly 1997 was not a good year, the day after I was married John Denver was in a plane crash, I for a few moments felt like I was in a bad episode of south park and instead of you killed kenny it was you killed a legend. Rest in peace John Denver, and may you always feel sunshine on your shoulders.


22) T.N.T- AC/DC- cause Im TNT Im dynomiteeee. Awesome song to do anything from going for a walk or scrubbing toilets, either way you have a good beat to help you along.


24) Little Moments like that- Brad Paisley. Sounds just like Trev and I , especially this part, 
I know shes not perfect, but she tries so hard for me, and I thank god that she isnt , cause how boring would that be,its the little imperfections, its the sudden change of plans, when she misreads the directions and we're lost but holding hands yeah i live for little moments like that.When shes laying on the sofa on my shoulder in the dark, about the time she falls asleep , so does my right arm, and I want so bad to move it , cause its tingling and its numb, but she looks so much like an angel that I dont want to wake her up.I live for little moments when she steals my heart again and doesnt even know it, yeah I live for, little moments like that.


25) My baby loves me just the way that I am-Martina Mcbride.  I almost think she was looking into our house when she wrote this song
Dont need no copy of vogue magazine, dont need to dress like no beauty queen, high heels or sneakers he dont give a damn. My baby loves me just the way that I am. He never tells me Im not good enough, just gives me unconditional love, he loves me tender, he loves me mad, he loves me silly and he loves me sad, he thinks im pretty, he thinks im smart, he likes my nerve and he loves my heart, hes always sayin hes my biggest fan my baby loves me just the way that I am.


 So there you have it my friends 25 songs that warm my heart, make me smile, get my feet a tappin and much to the horror and dismay of my offspring gets me singing and shakin my tailfeathers. May you all have music in your life that makes you smile and may you all be so blessed that you to can say I am so happy I could shit rainbows and fart fairy dust"






 

Monday Morning Reflections

Good Monday morning.

Before I go any further I must apologize for not doing a blog for quite some time, but my friends life in my world lately has been hectic to say the least.  So get comfy, grab your favorite beverage of choice and join me on another whirl wind adventure of the day and the life of a vet assistant in training. I have for sometime now been working with the vet and up until today havent really found time or the words to blog about it. 

 I work with the most amazing people ever, simply put we are a team, we have each others backs, and know that there is always a shoulder to lean on when we have a hard day. We play a game called name the tune, someone will start singing a song and its up to someone else to not only name the song but also complete the next line, so far I am the leader, I will really get them good when I sing "girl on a billboard" by Del Reeves .  We play practical jokes on each other, anything from throwing a metal dish onto the cement floor to see who not only jumps, and not only how high do they jump but what is the first word that comes out of their mouth, again I am the leader in that game to, little freaks get me everytime and thankfully that game takes place way out in the back of the office so clients never hear a thing, one day the word that came out of my mouth could have made a sailer blush, and who do you think was the person to play the trick on me, who else but the vet herself, she doubled right over laughing and said she had forgotten I had a redheaded temper. To locking someone in a dog kennel ( sadly that has happened to me and only me so far) it only took me 15 minutes to figure out my fingers could reach out through the bars and unlock it, bastards even took my picture and have it posted on the bulletin board out back. It makes me laugh evertime I see it.

  I have also become very good friends with some of the pets that come in, a few of them are geriatric and need alot of testing done for their diabetes, two little fellas never fail to make me smile, and even as you poke them to get blood they still lick your hand, if only humans could be so forgiving this world would be a better place.  I have also become excellent friends with the resident dog whos name is "blue" I call her bluebayoo, simply put we are like peas and carrottttsss, where I am so is she, I should also mention that she is a 75 pound rottweiler , she is my world.  I take her for walks when its slowed down at work and the best feeling in the world is when she looks up at me with those big brown eyes as we are on our walk, its as if she is saying I love you, the feelings are mutal blue. 

 She belongs to the vet, and I felt so honored when the vet asked me one day if I would take her for a walk, I said your trusting me with your baby, she said you have experience with big dogs, and blue loves you. My heart melted !  Now when I go into work as soon as blue hears my voice she gets excited, so excited that when she sees me she usually pees on the floor lol. That my friends is devotion.

 I have seen my share of happy things and sadly my share of sad things. It takes a loving owner to make the decision on the difference between quality of life and quantity of life.  My first day working at the vet we had 4 euthanasias, all pets who were so loved by their owners that they were spared anymore suffering and were able to gently slip away into a better place where no pain ever happens.  To say its an easy thing to do would be lying, it never gets any easier and the day it no longer effects me is the day I will be looking for another job.

 I am the one who holds them when the owner cannot be present, again its not for everyone, some owners say their goodbyes and leave, others want to stay with their pet, each decision is hard and as they say different strokes for different folks.  I have learned something since beginning my journey with the vet. I have learned that no matter how sick the animal is , they never fail to use the last of their strength to lick your face and look deep into your eyes as if they are saying thank you.  The day that I will be in the room with the client as they say their final goodbyes will be hard, but nothing in life is ever easy.  

 My first day there or as I refer to it as and always will "black Friday" they were all cases where the owner didnt want to be present, I never shed a tear ,,,, that is until I got home.  I remember coming through the door and having my healthy vital loving dog come to me, I went down on my knees on the floor and wrapped my arms around Mavericks neck, sobbing uncontrollably willing him to never get old and leave me. By the time I got done my sobbing, his fur was soaked, my eyes looked like two albino rats eyes who had been on one hell of a bender the night before, and my heart somehow felt lighter.  Maverick was there to lick way the tears, and followed me around the rest of the day, where I went , so did Maverick.  Animals know when their humans are sad, even the cat came to me and snuggled, he must have felt badly for me because he went a whole day with no ambushes.

  So my friends even on a rough day at work I push on through, I know that I have a support team at work, and one hell of a support team at home with Trevor and the pets.  Sometimes Trev never says much,instead he does the best thing ever, he holds me as I cry, wipes the tears away when I am done, and tells me he loves me and hes proud of me. People tell me all the time it takes a strong person to do what you do, but I see it this way, Trevor is the strong one, he is the one consoling me and believe me sometimes it takes awhile until all the tears are out.  

 I am in my element when I am at work, knowing I can be there to help animals who have no voice, reaping the rewards of seeing them get better, and sadly holding their paw as they say their final goodbye.  To those of you who have pets, hold them close, tell them you love them and never take one second for granted, a friend may turn their back on you, tell everyone your secrets and talk about you behind your back, but a pet is the best thing to ever come into your life. They dont judge, they always forgive and they are always there with wagging tails and slobbery kisses.  May you all be blessed to have animals in your life, and may you all be so happy you can say, "I'm so happy I could shit rainbows are fart fairy dust"


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