Whiskey For My Dog, And Farts From The Horses

Good morning to my faithful followers. 

I know, a whole week without a blog entry, but let me explain.  I have been busier then a 3 legged dog, trying to dig up a turd on a frozen pond. Between school and working with the vet, I have not had much time and am sad to report it has even cut into my consumption of fireball,,, a bit.  So sit back, get comfy, grab your beverage of choice and join me on a tale of whiskey for my dog, and farts from the horses.

Last Friday started out like most, I awoke to good morning kisses from Trevor, the I've got to pee happy dance from maverick, and the glares and ambushes from mr personality himself, Moses the cat. I also woke up with a slight migrain and the ever lasting taste of fireball on my palate.  Its cinnamon goodness got me through a rough night of nerves, and for that ,, Dr Mcgillicuddy, you are my hero.

 You see, last friday I had to overcome a bit of a fear, I have to admit although it hurts me deeply, that here I am a woman of the ripe old age of 33 1/4 and a vet assistant student,,,, is or shall I say was a bit afeared of horses.  I had to go to a horse farm, and not only look at these mammoth beasts, but also work on them.

 I soon found myself driving with a fellow classmate for 40 minutes, to the middle of butt F**K 
nowhere and my fears coming closer and closer with 
every mile we put on that little ford focus. My classmate
kept saying ,, are we getting close, I said you know you will
be getting close when instead of seeing cars on the road, you will
see ATV's and the occasional cow. She soon knew what I was talking about
when we were about 2 miles and a piece away from the farm.  She asked what I meant about "a piece" all I could think to tell her was, its not the kind of "piece" she was thinking of, much to my amusment, much to her saddness.


 We are the first to arrive at my teacher for the days farm, she greets us with did you find me ok? I assure her we had no problems finding her since she gave us wonderful directions, go up the road 2 miles and a piece, and its the only A Frame house on the road. I also had to explain to my classmate what an A frame house was, she thought I meant a Tee Pee, I said fo sho only this one has brick.


 I leave the warmth and the comfort of that little black ford focus for the damp and cold barn, but once my feet hit the dirt I felt like I was home. There has got to be something said for the aroma of fresh meadow muffins, to say wooo eeee we aint in the city no mo !!. I like the smell actually, fresh hay, clean air and the sweet smelling breath of large animals. Sure beats the smell of mavericks breath after hes helped himself to the kitty litter buffet.


 That day I decided to wear my lime green shirt, that on the front has a depiction of a woman riding a bucking bronco, on the back it says"git yer boots durty" my ever faithful jeans, hiking boots and a pink ball cap. I was fresh out of pink cowboy hats so the ballcap would have to do.  Pam loved my outfit, and was pleased to see that I was not a girly girl, when instead of turning my nose in the air to the smell of horse shit, said mmmmmmm I love the smell of a barn. Little did I know that I would be bringing that smell back home with me.


 After we all get there she tells us that we are going up the road a quartar mile and a piece to see a man about a horse, I got her joke, sadly no one else did and stood there for further instruction.  Back in the ford focus we go, although I longingly looked at her super cab pick up truck, with the allan jackson song , its alright to be a redneck stuck in my head.  We go see Mr Dorcas, he has clydesdales, mammoth work horses, who have a heart of gold. He also has some other horses as well. I took a pic of Mr Dorcas with one of his clydesdales just to show you how big this horse is,
pretty damn big isnt it? but an absolute sweetheart, 
as was Mr Dorcas. He told me to come back anytime 
little darlin(thats what he called me the whole time we
were there). I fell in love with a horse named Fiona she to was 

rather large, the song that came to mind when I saw her was "I like big butts and I cannot lie". Big ass , big heart she was a sweetheart for sure.

From there I go on a little adventure of my own, there is a smaller horse(those are the ones I have a fear of) giving me the look of come here you big pussy, Im not going to hurt you, and here my friends is the result,,
a lasting friendship !!!. This horse just wanted to snuggle in, give kisses and be close. We are now BFF's

 I can do this I tell myself, go see another one and see what happens,,, this my friends is what went down.
The beatles song"do you want to know a secret" is what came to mind. Listen, do you want to know a secret? let me whisper in your ear. Mr Dorcas was mightly impressed , not only with my courage, but for also knowing a good song, Mr Dorcas and I are now BFF's too.


 From there the fun ended and back to Pam's farm we went, where I worked my ass off let me tell you. I groomed the horse, did a bandage on her leg, cleaned
out her hooves, and led her around. As well as
listened to the lecture of the day. As I was grooming,
the said horse, by her tail she decided now would be a 
good time to lets just say LET ER RIP, she let a fart so 
big and so long it knocked the hat off my head, and made
my hair curl up. Thats gratitude for you my friends at its fullest
brush the horse til she is sleek and shiny and she farts in your face
I told her next time to warn a girl, I had my mouth wide open and 
everything, the horse by this time thinks its really funny and decides
to repeat the process and fart again.  By 4pm my boots were covered
in meadow muffins, my clothes reeked and my mouth tasted like horse
farts, it was finally time to say goodbye and enter civilization again.

 That night I was pretty excited about my accomplishments and decided to have a few shots of fireball, not much new there, friday is afterall fireball friday.  By the time I crack open the quart maverick hasnt left my side and this my friends is just how loyal to Dr McGillicuddy my german sheperd is --->. At least he has impecable taste.

 Obviously he isnt like me and cant handle his booze because after listening to roger miller sing chug a lug chug a lug, a few times, maverick "took a little slug , he drank it right down, I heard him moanin as he hit the ground"
  
So there you have it my friends, now you know where the title, whiskey for my dog and farts from the horses came from. *** Disclaimer***
 no animals were harmed in the making of this blog.I dont share my

fireball with anyone, not even the dog.
I can honestly say after that day on the farm
I came home and was able to say"I'm so happy
I could shit rainbows and fart fairydust. May you
all be blessed with overcoming your fears, and when
in doubt, do as I did, lean a little on fireball,that stuff
can cure anything from nerves to hemmeroids, and may 
you to be so happy you can say, Im so happy I could
shit rainbows and fart fairy dust.



 

The Circle Of Life

Good morning to my faithful followers.

Today is a day filled with bittersweet memories, so sit back, get comfy and grab your favorite beverage of choice, and join me on a journey of "the circle of life"

 Three years ago today is a day I will never forget, it was a sad day, a hard day and one I hope I never have to go through again.  You see on this day I had to say goodbye to a loyal faithful friend, his name was Bear .  Bear was the first pet I got when I moved from the comforting shelter of my parents home , and into my own place. 

I went to the SPCA and immedietly fell in love with a little black ball of fur, whos tail curled high up on his back so much he looked like a little cinnamon bun.  I didnt adopt Bear, he adopted me. As soon as I walked over to his cage , he left his bowl of kibble to come and greet me and lordy be what a greeting it was.  He pressed his little body up against the gate, took his tiny little paw and shoved his dog bone under the gate, looked up at me and back down at the bone as if to say its ok friend I want you to have it. 

 From that moment on he and I were like peas and carrottsssss. He wasnt what you could really call the most beautiful looking specimin but what he lacked in beauty he surely made up for in love.   He loved not only me , but also the boys , he loved our cat and he hated my now ex husband.  Bear didnt come with a pedigree he was a black lab mix but he was loyal, protective and always listened to me when I wanted to talk.  He also helped me through some very tough times in my life, he was there to help heal me after my hysterectomy, he licked away my tears when I lost my dad , he gave me a huge hi 5 when I finally got smart and kicked my now ex hubands ass to the curb. His last horrah for my ex husband was to show a full set of teeth and believe me he wasnt smiling, for that matter either was the ex husband.

 Bear not only accepted Trevor he LOVED Trev, we used to say Bear would soon forget his mama when Daddy came home.  He gave me 8 wonderful years of doggie kisses, wagging tails and constant companionship. Sadly on April 20th 2007 Bear became very sick.  I knew he wasnt doing well and the night before I took him to the vet( the one I am now shadowing) I told the boys to spend time with him, tell them they love him and enjoy being with him because if it were something bad I couldnt and wouldnt let him suffer.  

 That night each boy took their turn with bear, the hardest one to watch say goodbye was Luke, he laid on the couch with this animal who had been in his life since before he was even in school. He held bear close and let one tear slowly roll down his cheek.  As we went to bed that night with heavy hearts, Bear used what little strength he had and came upstairs, went into each boys room, licked their face and then came to me, with my help he laid beside me one last time on our bed.  

 I took him into the vet the next morning, and the news I got made me sink to my knees. Cancer she said and its not good, it had spread all through his once vigerous body and he was suffering.  I held him close, told him I loved him and thanked him for everything he did for me. His goodbye gift to me before he slipped away was ,,, he once again licked my tears away.  I told the vet I am never going to get another dog, her words were this, you will get a dog again when you least expect it but need it the most.

 That night , Trevor made it home, it was a very somber night, the kids went to bed without being told, Luke took Bears favorite stuffed animal to bed with him and continued to do so for a full straight month. Trevor held me close, told me he loved me, that I did the right thing and he kissed my tears away.

 3 Months later I am in the shower, not doing very well in all reality. I felt as though not only did I lose my best friend, I had also lost my sense of security, he was very protective.  As I am washing my hair I hear the name Maverick, not having a clue why, but wondering if maybe I didnt need some medical help I got out of the shower to the ringing of the telephone. 

 It was my best friend calling, a man she worked with had a litter of german sheperd puppies, one was left and needed a home, I said when can I pick him up?  The moment I saw him I said "your Maverick" , I also learned that day that when God has to take one angel, he sends down another to help ease your pain. 

Maverick was born April 20th 2007, the very day we had lost bear.  It was almost as if Bear knew I was hurting, having a hard time moving on and hand picked maverick for us. Maverick came home with me that day, and the first thing he did when I saw him was bury his little face into my neck, he looked up , saw my tears and like his brother before him licked them away. 

 Maverick can never replace bear, but they do have alot of the same characteristics , protective, loving, loyal and halarious. Never a day goes by without that dog doing something that makes me laugh. And like his brother before him, maverick loves me but seems to forget I exist when Trevor is home, it must be a guy thing.

 May you all be blessed with the pitter patter of doggie paws, and may you all be so happy you can say"I'm so happy, I could shit rainbows, and fart fairydust"

Songs that make me smile. make me happy , and help me remember

Good morning my loyal fans. Today I will be writing about music, songs I love, that make me smile. make me happy and help me remember. So sit back get comfy and grab your drink of choice and join me on a journey of music and my love for it.

 Ever since I was a little girl I have held music close to my heart. Legend has it that by the age of 3 I not only knew all the words to "wasnt that a party, by the Irish Rovers" I would also sing it to anyone or anything that would listen. My legions of fans back then included my dad, my nannie and often times my dolls. I would use an icecream scoop for a microphone, and an old beat up 6 string guitar, whos strings has long ago broke and were now replaced by fishing line. Yes my friends I was the next generation of Patsy Cline with a dash of Loretta Lynn thrown in for good measure.  

 Now my fans include Trevor and the dog and cat, the kids groan, make the motion of not only tipping the bottle to their lips but often times pretending to put a gun to their heads. I listen to anything from Rob Zombie right down to classical, with a very healthy dose of country, country music is like a fine bottle of whiskey. The older the better, but then again whiskey never lasts long enough in my house for me to attest to that. LADIESSSSSSSSS are you with me?  I however am not a huge fan of rap or Retards attempting poetry as I like to refer to it as. So I figured I would share some of my alltime favorite songs with you and hopefully take you all back to a time in your life when something happened that made you happy and everytime you hear a song its like magic, your back in that moment again.


1) Girl on the billboard- Del Reeves.  This is a catchy little country song from the 50's there is just something about the lyric do do do a do do do do, that gets my feet a tappin and a smile on my face like a cat with a strawberry flavored arse.


2) Dont come home a drinkin with lovin on your mind- Loretta Lynn. This was my mothers love song to my father, and I am thinking daddy musta come home with lovin on his mind at least 9 times and most likely with the distinct smell of rum on his breath. 


3) Knock 3 times on the ceiling if you want me- Freddy Fender- Again there must have been some knockin on ceilings in our house. Dad had two friends who would come over every weekend and they would sing this song as well as wasted days and wasted nights, again by Freddy Fender. Childhood memories at there best.


4) Do you know you are my sunshine- The Statler Brothers. My dad used to take me for a drive in his transport truck and everytime this song would come on he would sing it to me. 


5) Chug a lug chug a lug- Roger Miller.  This guy had to have been drinking fireball when he wrote this classic, it sounds exacly how I feel as that cinnamon goodness hits my throat. Chug a lug chug a lug, make you wanna holler hi de ho, burns your tummy dont you know, chug a lug chug a lug.


6) White lightening- George Jones. Again the possum was on the fireball when he wrote this song too. I took a little sip, and right away I knew, as my eyes bugged out and my face turned blue, lighten started flashin , thunder started crashing, wooooooooo white lightenin.


7) Little Baby ducks- Tom T Hall. Another one my dad sang to me, I love little baby ducks,old pick up trucks,slow movin trains and rain. I love little country streams, sleep without dreams, Sunday school in May and hay, and I loveeeeee you to. The song is so special to me that when Trevor and I get married I want my brother Ken who will be giving me away to dance with me to that song. Simply put its like having a little piece of my dad with me everytime I hear the song.


8) Harper Valley PTA- this song cracks me up no better way to discribe it. Catchy lyrics, snappy beat and it makes me smile. Give me a few shots of fireball and I will belt this one out like there is no tomorrow.


9) Anything by Neil Young !!!! I grew up listening to the legend singing anything from Ohio to harvest Moon and no matter where I am if a Neil Young song comes on I am not shy to sing along.


10) Here Comes the Sun- The Beatles. My middle son Luke was born to the line of here comes the sun do do do do , here the comes the sun and I say its alright. It was a fitting song because everything did turn out alright and he is my sunshine.


11) Rose colored glasses- Blue Rodeo. Isaac's song, my last little bundle of energy came into the world to Greg Keelor singing , she sees the world through rose colored glassesssssssssss and I do in a way even though the tint on my specs are more brown the red I still love the song.


12) Anything by Jimmy Rankin !! or as I like to refer to him as "My Jimmy" hes a hot little number from Mabou Cape Breton , he has a voice like an angel and an ass so tight im willing to bet you could bounce a quarter off of, I was willing to try when I saw him in concert but my best friend held me back, most like to my Jimmys great relief ! mmm my jimmy.


13) Half your age- Kid Rock. I love this song because the lyrics state, I found someone new, who treats me better, she dont bitch about things we aint got, and when I sleep til noon, it dont upset her, shes half your age,,, and twice as hot. my favorite line is she likes it in the morning and she loves my mama, and I would have to agree to both of those statements, Trevor's mama is the best.


14) Baby did a bad bad thing- Chris Isaak. Oh you know it baby !!! now there is a hot little song right there, ladiesssssssssss are you with me? my theory is this, if baby didnt do a bad bad thing,, baby is willing to try all Im missing is the stripper pole and a pair of high heeled shoes or so Val tells me.


15) Guitar Town- Steve Earle. Actually anything by the Duke is awesome. However this one gets me movin and again much to the kids utter horror singing.


16) Father and Daughter- Paul Simon. Again a song that makes me think of my dad," there will never be a father who loves his daugher like I love you"

17) Redneck Girl-The Bellamy Brothers. Trevor who is not a country fan actually asks to hear this song. He calls me his little redneck girl. Redneck girl's got his name on the back of veil, shes got a kiss on her lips for her man and no one else" thats my favorite line. 


18) CCR again anything by them , I missed out on their concert back in 1997 instead I got married that day, could have saved myself a shitload of heartache, and money for the Divorce and gone to hear some good music lol


19) D. I. V.O.R.C.E- Tammy Wynette- nice little segway into that one eh, this song makes me laugh because the day of my divorce hearing my sister Helen called me at the first crack of a sparrows fart to sing this to me, I get off the phone with her and my other sister Janet calls and sings the same thing, us girls are crazyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.


20) CRAZY- Gnarles Barkley- I remember , I remember when I lost my mindddddddd , Trev and I heard this on the radio on our way to his christmas party last year, we were goin down the highway with this song cranked and we were wailing away to it, makes me laugh everytime I hear it.


21) Annies Song- John Denver. You fill up my senses , like a light in the forest, sadly 1997 was not a good year, the day after I was married John Denver was in a plane crash, I for a few moments felt like I was in a bad episode of south park and instead of you killed kenny it was you killed a legend. Rest in peace John Denver, and may you always feel sunshine on your shoulders.


22) T.N.T- AC/DC- cause Im TNT Im dynomiteeee. Awesome song to do anything from going for a walk or scrubbing toilets, either way you have a good beat to help you along.


24) Little Moments like that- Brad Paisley. Sounds just like Trev and I , especially this part, 
I know shes not perfect, but she tries so hard for me, and I thank god that she isnt , cause how boring would that be,its the little imperfections, its the sudden change of plans, when she misreads the directions and we're lost but holding hands yeah i live for little moments like that.When shes laying on the sofa on my shoulder in the dark, about the time she falls asleep , so does my right arm, and I want so bad to move it , cause its tingling and its numb, but she looks so much like an angel that I dont want to wake her up.I live for little moments when she steals my heart again and doesnt even know it, yeah I live for, little moments like that.


25) My baby loves me just the way that I am-Martina Mcbride.  I almost think she was looking into our house when she wrote this song
Dont need no copy of vogue magazine, dont need to dress like no beauty queen, high heels or sneakers he dont give a damn. My baby loves me just the way that I am. He never tells me Im not good enough, just gives me unconditional love, he loves me tender, he loves me mad, he loves me silly and he loves me sad, he thinks im pretty, he thinks im smart, he likes my nerve and he loves my heart, hes always sayin hes my biggest fan my baby loves me just the way that I am.


 So there you have it my friends 25 songs that warm my heart, make me smile, get my feet a tappin and much to the horror and dismay of my offspring gets me singing and shakin my tailfeathers. May you all have music in your life that makes you smile and may you all be so blessed that you to can say I am so happy I could shit rainbows and fart fairy dust"






 

Monday Morning Reflections

Good Monday morning.

Before I go any further I must apologize for not doing a blog for quite some time, but my friends life in my world lately has been hectic to say the least.  So get comfy, grab your favorite beverage of choice and join me on another whirl wind adventure of the day and the life of a vet assistant in training. I have for sometime now been working with the vet and up until today havent really found time or the words to blog about it. 

 I work with the most amazing people ever, simply put we are a team, we have each others backs, and know that there is always a shoulder to lean on when we have a hard day. We play a game called name the tune, someone will start singing a song and its up to someone else to not only name the song but also complete the next line, so far I am the leader, I will really get them good when I sing "girl on a billboard" by Del Reeves .  We play practical jokes on each other, anything from throwing a metal dish onto the cement floor to see who not only jumps, and not only how high do they jump but what is the first word that comes out of their mouth, again I am the leader in that game to, little freaks get me everytime and thankfully that game takes place way out in the back of the office so clients never hear a thing, one day the word that came out of my mouth could have made a sailer blush, and who do you think was the person to play the trick on me, who else but the vet herself, she doubled right over laughing and said she had forgotten I had a redheaded temper. To locking someone in a dog kennel ( sadly that has happened to me and only me so far) it only took me 15 minutes to figure out my fingers could reach out through the bars and unlock it, bastards even took my picture and have it posted on the bulletin board out back. It makes me laugh evertime I see it.

  I have also become very good friends with some of the pets that come in, a few of them are geriatric and need alot of testing done for their diabetes, two little fellas never fail to make me smile, and even as you poke them to get blood they still lick your hand, if only humans could be so forgiving this world would be a better place.  I have also become excellent friends with the resident dog whos name is "blue" I call her bluebayoo, simply put we are like peas and carrottttsss, where I am so is she, I should also mention that she is a 75 pound rottweiler , she is my world.  I take her for walks when its slowed down at work and the best feeling in the world is when she looks up at me with those big brown eyes as we are on our walk, its as if she is saying I love you, the feelings are mutal blue. 

 She belongs to the vet, and I felt so honored when the vet asked me one day if I would take her for a walk, I said your trusting me with your baby, she said you have experience with big dogs, and blue loves you. My heart melted !  Now when I go into work as soon as blue hears my voice she gets excited, so excited that when she sees me she usually pees on the floor lol. That my friends is devotion.

 I have seen my share of happy things and sadly my share of sad things. It takes a loving owner to make the decision on the difference between quality of life and quantity of life.  My first day working at the vet we had 4 euthanasias, all pets who were so loved by their owners that they were spared anymore suffering and were able to gently slip away into a better place where no pain ever happens.  To say its an easy thing to do would be lying, it never gets any easier and the day it no longer effects me is the day I will be looking for another job.

 I am the one who holds them when the owner cannot be present, again its not for everyone, some owners say their goodbyes and leave, others want to stay with their pet, each decision is hard and as they say different strokes for different folks.  I have learned something since beginning my journey with the vet. I have learned that no matter how sick the animal is , they never fail to use the last of their strength to lick your face and look deep into your eyes as if they are saying thank you.  The day that I will be in the room with the client as they say their final goodbyes will be hard, but nothing in life is ever easy.  

 My first day there or as I refer to it as and always will "black Friday" they were all cases where the owner didnt want to be present, I never shed a tear ,,,, that is until I got home.  I remember coming through the door and having my healthy vital loving dog come to me, I went down on my knees on the floor and wrapped my arms around Mavericks neck, sobbing uncontrollably willing him to never get old and leave me. By the time I got done my sobbing, his fur was soaked, my eyes looked like two albino rats eyes who had been on one hell of a bender the night before, and my heart somehow felt lighter.  Maverick was there to lick way the tears, and followed me around the rest of the day, where I went , so did Maverick.  Animals know when their humans are sad, even the cat came to me and snuggled, he must have felt badly for me because he went a whole day with no ambushes.

  So my friends even on a rough day at work I push on through, I know that I have a support team at work, and one hell of a support team at home with Trevor and the pets.  Sometimes Trev never says much,instead he does the best thing ever, he holds me as I cry, wipes the tears away when I am done, and tells me he loves me and hes proud of me. People tell me all the time it takes a strong person to do what you do, but I see it this way, Trevor is the strong one, he is the one consoling me and believe me sometimes it takes awhile until all the tears are out.  

 I am in my element when I am at work, knowing I can be there to help animals who have no voice, reaping the rewards of seeing them get better, and sadly holding their paw as they say their final goodbye.  To those of you who have pets, hold them close, tell them you love them and never take one second for granted, a friend may turn their back on you, tell everyone your secrets and talk about you behind your back, but a pet is the best thing to ever come into your life. They dont judge, they always forgive and they are always there with wagging tails and slobbery kisses.  May you all be blessed to have animals in your life, and may you all be so happy you can say, "I'm so happy I could shit rainbows are fart fairy dust"


 I