Monday Mania

Hello and welcome back

 I must aplogize for not writing sooner, however I had my reasons. One being I was super busy, super stressed and I may add super lazy.  Ok so I guess thats three but I digress.  So sit back, get comfy, grab your favorite beverage and join me on my adventures of Monday Mania.

  I awoke this morning to what I felt sure would be good morning kisses and gentle hushed tones of good morning. Instead I awoke to my bladder being more then full, and as I rolled over thinking I would be spooning Trevor, I soon found out it was moses, the wonder cat.  Not quite the piece of ass I had in mind.  Trevor you see had awoken before me, and for reasons I am not sure of , maybe he wanted me to get a few more minutes sleep, or maybe he wanted to hear the sound of silence for a few more minutes, Im not sure , reguardless, it was the cats ass I woke up to, not the wonderful good morning kisses and snuggles from Trevor.  I throw back the covers, slam my feet on the floor, curse rather loudly at the harsh cold which has dared invade my once warm toes, and make my way into the bathroom.  I trip over the cat, see my life flash before my eyes and the toilet appear very close to my face, regain my balance just in time and tell the cat hes one step closer to getting the needle.

  From there I awaken the troops, and stomp down the stairs,  I look at Trevor sitting comfy cozy in his chair with a fresh cup of coffee in hand, give him a look and attempt to make lunches.  From there the cat flies from the kitchen doorway, over the stove and lands KABOOM on the garbage can, the knife in my hand flies through the air, I clutch my chest, tuck and roll and say 5 hail marys on the way down.  Thankfully the knife landed in the sink, I still have a bit of my pride left and yes people the damn cat was unharmed in his latest Jackie Chan stunt !  From there I make my coffee, trip over the cat, grumble about waking to a cats ass instead of hot steamy kisses from as moses refers to him as "The God" and come into the living room.  Trevor looks up from the tv and says " good morning honey bun" my heart melts, visions of slipping the cat the needle has for a while disappeared as has my bad mood. Life is great my friends, life is great.

 I give another war yell up to Isaac and finally he is awake, down he comes only to be told to go back up to brush his teeth and his hair while hes at it.  From there the troops are off to go catch the big yellow limo and Trevor and I drink our coffee.  I no sooner get in the groove of relaxing, when Trev tells me he is off to the shower because he has to go see a client before heading back to the office in Moncton. Tears well up in my eyes, so soon I say to myself, self says jesus woman you have got to have him since Friday , I tell self to shut the hell up and let me wallow, self says suck it up buttercup, and this goes on for at least 10 minutes,the verdict is still out on who won !

 Trev then tells me hes coming back after he sees his client and we will have an early lunch together.  Life is good my friends life is good !  I decide to have my shower and get ready for class while hes at work , as not to waste what time we have left together.  I get in the shower, lather shampoo in my hair , im singing away to the sound of mary chapin carpenter singing about passionate kisses  only to have yet again my life flash before my eyes. 

 You see Moses loves the water, and well I guess I didnt have the bathroom door shut tight, and as I was singing away to passionate kisses whoa whoa, passionate kisses for meeeeee ,  my eyes squeezed shut as not to get shampoo in my eyes, Moses decides it would be a great time to stick his body in the shower and bump his head against my bare ass.  Holy dyin jesus, that cat is trying to kill me. I tell myself, self that cat has it in for you, SELF is laughing her ass off saying nah hes just messing with you , cause girlfriend thats how that bitch cat rolls. I tell self that the cat is going to be rolling alright, all the way to his maker, to which moses didnt appreciate and decides to swat my bare legs with his paw, thankfully his claws did not make an apperance.

  I somehow make it out of the shower alive, and get dressed without incident, well besides moving Maverick aka the beast off my clothing I had laid out on the bed.  Trevor arrives home and lunch is all ready, we eat lunch, watch the Ellen Degeneres show ( however the hell u spell her name) and decide shes just to much energy for us and we are tired.  Off we go for a catnap, he soon has to head to the office, I soon have to report to duty at hell, I mean class.  Cat nap , kisses and snuggles complete, life is great my friends , life is great. Then I get the sads again, its time for kisses goodbye until Friday , I try not to let him see the tears and hear the sniffles but I dont think it worked, and I let him go , with the promise of he would call me soon and would see me friday.  From there I blow my nose, make a snack to take to class, and leave to complete my 4 hour sentence of hell, listening all about animal nutrition , fighting the whole while to stay awake and not scream from sheer boredom.

  From there my day goes to hell in a hand basket, test results are in and the once straight A student failed not one but both tests !!! one by 5 marks the other by 6.  I think I uttered I GIVE UP, only to have my teacher say, like hell, your my best student and you my dear arent going anywhere, I wont have it and either will Trevor !!!  I wipe away the tears, utter an oath to kick serious ass when I rewrite them next week and settle down to what I thought would be sheer boredom, and come to find out it was actually quite interesting,  Who knew !!!  From there my day gets better, not only are we released an hour early for good behaviour, we also found out we have 3 days off, my teacher has 3 days of seminars so she gave us work to do at home and said see you Friday troops, to that I saluted, said "I'm so happy I could shit rainbows and fart fairy dust" and got my ass out of there fast before the warden changed her mind.  Life is great my friends, life is great.  May you all be blessed with days filled with happy endings, and may you all be so happy you to can say, "I'm so happy I could shit rainbows and fart fairy dust"