Monday Morning Mania

Hello and welcome back

  I know I know before you start in on me like white on rice I will apologise profusley for not doing a blog entry yesterday !  So sit back, get comfy grab your beverage of choice, mine being a lovely cup of coffee made for me by Trevor, before he had a shower and had to leave for work. And join me into Monday Morning Mania.

  Sunday morning started out with good morning kisses, a hot cup of coffee and the sad realization that Luke needed new jeans, and this love shack needed groceries.  I drag my bone tired, head pounding Im never going to drink again wrinkly saggy and dehydrated body into the shower. Actually I had a bath to try and warm up while Trevor watched a movie about something I am still trying to figure out, people being abducted to live the rest of their days in a book, there are monster type characters and Brenden Fraser had the lead roll, enough said, I mean come on this guy has never been in what you call awe inspiring movies lol.  I am laying in the tub half awake, half dead when the door flies open.  The dog followed by the cat loudly announce their presense and immediatley start lapping up my bath water, the cat makes himself quite at home by using my once perky, now saggy udders as floating lily pads to get to the squeegie thingy you wash with, he throws it in the air ( the whole while still standing on my once perky now saggy udders) and attempts and thats saying it midly, to engage me in a rousing battle of go fetch !  Long story short, he springs off the once perky now saggy udders and into the depths of my once warm water, now turning cold bath water.

  It was the saddest sight of a wet pussy I have ever seen !  The dog by this time has fallen on his back, feet in the air and I swear to god if he could have talked he would have said , smooth move exlax, to which the cat would have replied, dont hate the player hate the game or some such theory.  Actually he could have said , dont hate me because im beautiful and at least I know about personal hygein.  I kick them out, close my eyes and begin to have day dreams about night things, in the middle afternoon.  The door opens again, and in walks Trevor, I ask him rather suductivly if he would care to join me, upon seeing my once clean water now full of cat fur ( which Im now wondering if he thought it was mine and I had again attacked unwanted fur with his mach 3 razor) He quickly says no, I just came up to make sure you didnt fall asleep in the tub. Jesus , Mary and Joseph I say , in this house I could never fall asleep in the tub not with your animals.

 A bit miffed that he doesnt care to join me , I get out of the tub, not caring if I splashed water all over the floor, I begin to dry off, drop my towel in the tub and give him the look if you laugh, YOUR NEXT !  He procedes to say he is having a shower seeing as the very interesting, very captivating Brenden Fraser movie is over, all have been rescued from the book , the whole while telling me it was a good movie.  I stomp into our room, leaving a trail of water and some not so nice words about animals never giving me time to myself in my wake.  Finally I am dressed and ready to spend money whoot whoot, LADIESSSSSSSSSSSSS you know you want to agree with me.

  This my friends is where the day got really interesting !  You see normally I am a self professed Walmart whore, where as Trevor is a certified Zellers Lord ! However I consented on going to zellers because he said he had seen jeans on sale.  Now I must confess something to you all, Im cheap,, but Im not easy.  We not only found Luke two pair of jeans for less then $20 oh no my friends we hit the big time.

 I found myself another pair of yes I am happy to say BETTY BOOP PJS !!!  They are pink and have Betty looking all sassy and seductive saying Diamonds are a girls best friend, I have to agree with Betty on that one, the bottoms are flannel, the t shirt is a sassy little cotton number and is even bedazzled, tricked out and do I dare say smokin hot with little silver decals.  Seeing as I dont often wear titty tassles, this is the next best thing.  She is even sitting there looking all pretty with her sultry red mouth in a pucker and wearing the exact same betty boop bloomers I own myself, they are black with little pink ruffles on the bum.  That is about as sexy as I go in the bloomer department, well besides my silky/lacy boycut drawers and my git r done, t back under britches. From there we discovered they had a 16 piece dinnerware set on, a linda reeves collection, quite honestly I dont care for that woman, I find her a little shall we say fake and persnickety however what she lacks in tastes for her show, she makes up for 100% in dishes.  They sell at a regular price for $50 we however got them for $15 freaking bucks !!!

 From there we discover pots and pans normally $250.00 on for $50 they are in our cart slicker then otter snot !!!  I was also able to find my perfume Ive been wanting to buy, you see I bought Trevor the Tim Mc'Graw cologne a while back, all I can say is that stuff should come with a warning lable of ladiessssssss ditch your britches cause this stuff is amazing, Happy to report his lovely wifes perfume is equally as good, and Trevor had no problems cozying up to me last night. LADIESSSSSSSSSSSSS you know what Im saying.  I also got a huge box of rice crispies for $3, classico pasta sauce 2 for $5 and a big ole jug of javex bleach for $2.  From there we are off to get groceries,  Trevor also tells me hes cooking supper and trying out the new pots.  I guess even though he said home made kraft dinner was what he wanted me to make Friday, was not on his palet for last nights supper. I got a bunch of groceries for less then $100 including some extras.  On the menu last night at chateau Johnston we had steak, cooked to perfection, yukon gold potatoes mashed with butter and so fluffy they were like eating little clouds of yumminess ( my job was to mash butter and whip those babies into fluffy clouds of yumminess) Im still patting myself on the back for that, and SELF is saying knock it off already your no martha stewart they are F***ing potatoes not gold.  The real chef is the short little fella who knows his way around the kitchen you however don't. We also had his yummy cream sauce of mushroom , onions and whipping cream thickened to a lovely concoction of sheer bliss.  We then completed the meal with steamed veggies.  A terrific meal to say the least.

 We sat down to watch some tv, well I did , Trevor played online poker, that never bothers me its free and often times he even wins a buck or two of american money !  I watched the dog whisperer, celebrity rehab, and from there 19 kids and counting.  Ok so this family kudos to them they believe in god, are loving parents and are debt free, however when you are getting close to your 40's are now grandparents , isnt a good time to say thank you lord we have been blessed, keep your legs closed and enjoy life without getting pregnant for the 19th time.  She ends up delivering 4 months early due to pre elampsia which she had before, and baby josie is born to a whooping 1 pound 6 ounce, thankfully she is fine the mother is fine but again I say if the bible tells you not to use birth control and be blessed with as many babies as hes willing to pass your way, then sleep in seperate beds, however, fred and wilma flintstone did and they still made pebbles so hell maybe there isnt any solution. By this time Trevor has stopped playing poker and washed the dishes, before that during commercial break I put away the leftovers and folded laundry.  By 10pm we are getting excited, desperate housewives is coming on.  I got him hooked a while back and not he never misses an episode, even though last week it wasnt on and needless to say my little chef/kitchen bitch was not impressed.  We got alot of laughs out of it last night, then figured 5:30am comes early and he had a 2 hour drive to the office. 

  I am lulled to sleep by his goodnight kisses, his stoking of my hair and the lovely sounds of his sleeping beside me, life is great my friends, life is great.  At 5:30am the alarm shatters our connected bodies , I wake up to good morning kisses, a fresh cup of hot coffee, and a great conversation . I am so happy I could shit rainbows and fart fairy dust. By 6:30am the kids are awake and downstairs to say goodbye to Trevor until Friday, he leaves us with goodbye hugs kisses and I love you's and takes with him a piece of my heart, my love, and my urges to drive safe and to call me when he can.  He is barely out the door and not only have I grabbed him for one more kiss and I love you, but I am already missing him.  May you all be blessed with good morning kisses, love in your heart for the people surrounding you and may you all be so happy , you to can say "I'm so happy I could shit rainbows and fart fairy dust"