Finally Friday

Hello and welcome back my faithful followers.

  Oh I am happy to say yes my friends today is Friday, a day when the work week ends, a day when the love of my life comes home and yes the day that while other students on campus get to leave early after writing a test our class gets to spend the whole 4 hours with our teacher, sitting through 4 hours of lectures, interesting sure but who doesnt want a shortened day to kick start their weekend.  As the great singer Sam Cooke once sang, its been a long time comin that describes my week to a tee.  He also sang about mama said there would be days like this and as a younger person I never fully grasped those words,,, that is until now that I am in the cusps of my early 30's , a mother, and a college student, now those lyrics make sense.

  I had my life flash before my eyes last night, you see I let Maverick out one last time before we went to sleep, ok no harm there that happens every night. So here I am standing once again in the kitchen in my betty boop jammie bottoms and my pink GIT R DONE shirt and comfy slippers. I was in the process of making toast with butter and jam and a lovely cup of tea, when all of a sudden from outside I hear Maverick aka big boy aka the beast, bark and not just any bark this was a bark like how dare you enter my territory and Im about ready to open up one hell of a big can of whoop ass.  Out the door I go flying, this time without my flashlight and hockey stick ( see yesterdays blog) to find what at first looks like the biggest coyote I have ever seen, I am happy to report it was not a coyote but a german sheperd mix that decided to take off from its owner on their nightly walk.  Usually Maverick is a very social boy he likes other dogs, that is until they enter his property especially when he is tied out.

  Long story short I finally get ahold of his chain and reel him in like he was a huge fish, tell him thats enough and that the other dog wants to play.  I got Maverick in the house and then let loose on the owner, mostly because not only was I almost certain after that excitement that I had made mud in my drawers, but upon further inspection I had chipped a nail and had a funny feeling my toast was no longer going to be a lovely golden color, but a distinct black !  I told him that Maverick isnt always the nicest when he is tied out and another animal or person for that matter comes on his turf, thats his job, he lives the life all day, sleeping on the couch, getting yummie treats, sleeping on our bed at night you know the drill. But his job is to protect.  The young guy said yeah I understand I told him he needs to get his dog neutered, its the responsible thing to do as an owner and it will curb him from taking off on him.  I also let it be known that I was a vet assistant student and the procedure of denutting doesnt make the dog any less a dog, just a better dog, and that if our dog had of attacked his dog which I know there would have possibly been bloodshed had I not gone out, that I wouldnt have been at fault because my dog was tied out on MY property and his dog entered my property.  At least he got what I said and appologised for having his dog enter our yard, however he didnt say he was sorry for my chipped nail and burnt toast.  By the time I had gotten back in the house I realised my heart was pounding I was shaky in the knees and I was so hungry I could eat the ass end out of a skunk, so burnt toast or not this little woman was going to eat it.


  So that was my night , I ate my toast , sipped my tea and watched a full hour of the golden girls.  Went to bed at 10:30pm and was awoken at 3am by the cat, he decided it was snuggle time and whether or not I was willing to, he was going to snuggle.  He has a purr that resembles the sound of an ourboard motor, he jumps up on the bed, headbutted me a few times and then did something he doesnt often do, he licked my face and not just once it was several times. he then proceded to kneed dough on my chest, flopped down curled up in a tiny ball and wrapped his arms around my neck and thats how he slept until the alarm went off at 6:45am.  I am not sure why he was so cuddly , maybe I still smelled like rats ( see yesterdays post) but whatever it was I liked it.  I was still feeling a little tense last night when I went to bed, wondering what could have happened with Maverick, all I know is I was smart and didnt get in the middle of them , I figured if maverick had of gone in for the kill so to speak this rainbow loving crazy bitch wasnt getting in the middle of it.  Thankfully once I had told Maverick ENOUGH he stopped the barking and growling and let the dog sniff his ass and vice versa.  If I could ever come back as an animal I would want to come back as two different ones, let me explain. First I would come back as a dog just to see what all the hype is about sniffing another dogs ass, then I would come back as a female pig, they have 20 minute orgasms LADIESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS are you with me???  I just dont get it, its impossible for a big to sneeze but a sow pig can orgasm for 20 minutes and not only live to tell the tale , she also just gets back up and continues her daily business.  Not be I would either be dead or have my eyes rolled back in my head so far Trevor would be calling our Anglican priest to come do an exorcist, so in a way Im glad Im a human at least in this lifetime. Think about it, sure they get 20 minutes of orgasm but eventually they end up on your plate.

  Our house is lovely and quiet now, mutt and jeff are off to school, big boy is having a snooze by my feet, and the cat well Im sure he is laying in our bed having a great sleep as well. Last time I saw him he was playing in the bathtub, there was still water left in the tub after Luke had his shower, so he was splashing around in it.  I myself am sitting here in my betty boops with yet again such a wild hairdo its almost sexy , having a smoke and trying to get the energy to clean the house, change the litter boxes ( yes moe has two hes a clean cat) and have a shower before school. Oh and I musnt forget to shave, when your legs begin to look like your wearing furry leotards ( or retards as my 5 your old neice nicole calls them) it might be time to consider a shave, and when your armpits look like you could possibly have buckwheat in a headlock its time to shave.  LADIESSSSSSSSSSSSSS are you with me on this one?  I am hoping to get my marks back today on the exam we wrote yesterday, I feel a 90 coming on , possibly even higer, and if I get less then a 90% not only will I be angry I will be surprised and make sure to go over it closely.  So from my home to yours I wish you all a great weekend, and may your weekend be so happy it gives you all reason to yell. Im so happy I could shit rainbows and fart fairy dust.