Kids say the funniest things.

It never fails to amaze me on the funny things kids say. Be in that they are so innocent or be it that they have no filter, whatever the case may be it never fails to make me laugh. Come with me on a little journey of some of the things my boys have said through the years.

Austin was in grade three when I got a phone call from his teacher, usually these calls are nothing to laugh at but this one was the exception.  It was show and tell day at school, and according to the teacher Austin was avidly waving his hand. His teacher said Austin, do you have something to show or to tell? He said oh I got summin to tell so up he got.  I should have known right away that this wasnt going to be good, but I let the teacher finish telling me what my much loved curly haired boy told.  Austin says I spent the weekend at my grammie Ida's she aint like most old people, she likes to play games and what not, and man when she farts it sounds just like a machine gun.!  The teacher said he had to leave the room, he went out in the hallway and laughed so hard he was crying and had to go tell the principal what he claims is the best show and tell story of all time.

  Then we have Luke, now Luke is a quiet little fella always has been, hes very book smart and likes to keep up with the current goings on in the world. When he was 3 he went to day care a few times a week, so this Monday he goes into daycare and his teacher asks Luke did you do anything fun this weekend? That weekend he had spent with my ex mother in law, it was summer and really hot. So she would make him grape juice mixed with gingerale.  So Luke says to the teacher, oh yes had a good weekend, I went to my nannie and nanu's, Nannie made her and I some cocktails( she never told me thats what she called them) and then we laid down and had a nice long sleep.  I could have freaking died when the teacher called to tell me that, seeing as the daycare he went to was at a chuch, but they all laughed about it and said it sounded like he had a good time.

Then we get to Isaac, now this little fella well hes hard to pinpoint, he has my eyes and my smile, does not have my organizational skills and is somewhat skatterbrained when it comes to his belonging, but I will say this for him, he has a way with words.  Again this takes place at school, he was in 3rd grade and was asked to write down what he did that summer, on paper he wrote, I had a lovely summer, I got to spend alot of time at my grams, we would have a bon fire and eat wieners and marshmallows, I also learned how to swim this summer, my aunt Sue taught me. At night time we sit around the bon fire and tell stories, and man can my aunt sue ever drink alot of beer.  The teacher put this letter on the wall for all to see on meet the teacher night lmao.

Another time Luke asked his daycare teacher who happened to be my best friend , Miss angie how do you see out of those little eyes ? Angie has very small eyes and when she laughs they are pretty much existant, poor Ang I think she responded with the same way you do I open them lol.

Austin while watching tv with my mother one day , happened to see a commercial for preparation H, he said hey Ida, he never used to call her gram. Whats that stuff for? she said oh sores on your butt, he said I need to get dad some PAREPARTION H cause he has pimples on his butt, poor mom damn near died when the coffee she was drinking went down the wrong pipe.

A classic one that even now when I think about it makes me die laughing. Isaac is out in our entry way one day reaching up on the shelf for something, when all of a sudden he starts wailing.  I thought bloody hell what now ! I went out and asked him what was wrong, he says I was reaching for my toy on the shelf and I think I pulled my hemmeroid ! well fook me I doubled over dying laughing , the kid could have been on his way to meet his maker but there was no way I could have helped him I was laughing so hard. I said your hemmeroid??? he said yeah you know that muscle in your leg? I said Isaac thats your hamstring , no matter how old I get I will never forget that day.

So there you have it my loyal readers, kids say the funniest things ! I hope you have all enjoyed it and I hope they made you laugh so much you can say, I'm so happy I could shit rainbows and fart fairy dust !