The Legacy Of Diane, No Longer Being A Fireball Virgin

Hello and welcome back

  The blog entry today ( its 1:04am Sunday morning, ) is about a friend of mine named Diane, who had up until the present time never had fireball touch her lips.  You see my friends, I fireball devirgined her,  So sit back, get comfy, and grab your favorite beverage of choice, ( I can only assume fireball wont be hitting Diane's palet again anytime soon) and join me on our epic journey.

  8pm Diane alerts me on her status that she has fireball, she then posts a comment on my status asking if I want to take part in the consuming of it.  On any other given day I would have jumped at the chance, today however I awoke to serious pain due to my TMJ, my jaw was killing me, the pain was shooting from my jaw, into my ear, up through my eye and finally found its resting spot in my head.  But seeing as it was me who has told her the wonders of fireball. I felt it was my duty to giddy up and pour a round or two.

  I had warned Diane that it is very strong stuff, its 33% booze, corn whiskey to be exact, and it clearly states, ingredients,whiskey.!!! thats it nothing more.  It to also states haze may occur naturally.  She was reminded that fireball is a sneaky little bugger and creeps up on you when you least expect it, usually when you stand up to release the flood gates of a very full bladder, you discover a little to late that you are more then slightly intoxibicated.
  We keep commenting on her status update, the more she drinks, the worse the typing gets.  Her friend Susie , from Ireland soon joins in and holy sweet mother of god I have never laughed so hard in my life. As I mentioned Diane couldnt type very well, in fact a blind monkey would have had a better chance at it.  She kept calling Susie, Slusie, from there it went to sluei to slueki. 

 At one point in the conversation I had to go release the flood gates and when I returned, they were talking about Roger Rabbit, funny movie from the late 80's cool I think we are going retro. From there the talk went to brazilian waxes, I stated that so long as there are mach 3 razors in the world I wont have a problem, because theres no way hot wax is coming anywhere near my hoo haw.  They seemed to like that comment, again I go to release the floodgates , return and they are now talking about of all things, tooth brushes.  Weird I say, from waxed hoo haws to bright shiny smiles, but hey who am I to judge.  There is big talk of the vibrating kind, to that I state , I dont like vibrating things, they weird me out, especially in my mouth.  Diane says what about a water pic?  I said yuck I dont like water being squirted in my mouth, and then my friends it all came out what those two drunks were talking about, and believe you me, it wasnt about colgate and oral B !  Who knew they made those things with such names as Roger Rabbit, and the waterpic???

  The redness has left my face now, a mere 4 hours after the fact , but all is well and I can honestly say , I learned something new, whether I wanted to or not.  This goes on for what seemed like hours, Finally I say I am off to bed !!!  I putter around for a bit , talk to Trevor, and consume some fireball.  Later I decide to go back on to see how Diane made out and this my friends is what I read.  I am still laughing and she really should have had a disclaimer on her status saying, peach excuse my smelling pistakes, I have a peach inspediment. Because I really had to think a few times on what she was trying to say, because she was so loaded she couldnt type, but its ok, in her own little world her typing was just fine, it was just her computer acting up,

  As I am reading the comments all 208 of them ,,, I read where Susie aka slusie says to Diane, hey Diane, how much you wanna bet Lois is getting it on with Trevor, Diane reports back that they need a Trevor and she really spelled it badly lmao. She then goes on to say hey slusie, I really has to pee but Lois said it hits you really hard when you stand, ( I am reading all of this to Trev, we are laughing our asses off , as I am telling him how things are spelled)  It took me a full 5 minutes to get my laughing under control enough to tell Trev that part and even then I could barely read it. 

  I can only imagine how Diane will feel in the morning, I can tell you she will probably be spending a good part of her day with her arms around the toilet bowl and she wont be singing any praises for me or the firball as she types it lol.  She may also have a head the size of a football, and I can almost guarentee, if she has an old tom cat, she probably spent half the night talking to it under the kitchen table.  I just hope she didnt fall asleep with her head on the keyboard and her bladder still very full.  I also hope that she can look back on all of this, her new adventures to being devirgined of fireball, and laugh enough to say, Im so happy I could shit rainbows and fart fairy dust.

  I hope you all have great friends like I do, near and far, who make you so happy you can all exclaim "I'm so happy , I could shit rainbows and fart fairy dust"