Thursday morning kanundrums

Hello and welcome back !

  Today started out like any other morning, blaring alarm waking me at 6:45am, starting my day by slipping my toasty warm toes into my new slippers, clad in my ever faithful betty boop jammies, see the beast doing his hey mom, good your awake cause I really have to pee dance.  I awaken the troops, direct Luke where to find fresh towels, I think I may have said open your eyes a little wider, they are in the same spot one normally finds towels, in todays case I was wrong.  They were not under the sink in the bathroom , but still waiting in the dryer to be folded.  Down I go rubbing my eyes, that are by this point resembling two pissholes in the snow, get ambushed by the furball from heaven or hell, depending on the day. Let the beast out, make lunches, direct the kids to their other belongings, feed the furball.  By 7:30am the boys are out the door for school and Trevor calls me on his way into the office. AHHHHHHH life is sweet, that is until I LOST THE DOG !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  Get comfy, grab your beverage of choice and come with me on my journey of the lost dog.

 I am by this time in total panic, you see Maverick isnt just a dog, hell no he is part of the family. He loves us unconditionally, makes us laugh, and protects not only us but the house.  When the boys go to bed at night, he goes up with them, watches them brush their teeth, and follows them to their room. Once they are all tucked in he is back downstairs laying by either my feet or Trevor's if he is home.  When it is time to go to bed, he goes in and checks on the boys, he puts his face on their chest , turns back looks at me as if to say ok warden all prisoners are accounted for, and either sleeps in the hallway between the bedrooms, or in bed with Luke.  I am also in total panic because I know I dont want to have to make the phone call to Trevor stating , dont be mad, BUT I LOST YOUR DOG. Keep in mind the dog is not a small dog, so really how does one lose him?  I fly out the door in my betty boop jammies, new pink hoodie and slippers, my hair is wild and looking oh so sexy.  The chain is there, the dog however isnt.  My neighbour is outside looking at me like I lost my mind, which I quickly assure her, its not my mind that is lost , but my dog, my companion my friend.

 She comes over and says well he hasnt been over to play with Prince, that is their 16 week old lab puppy, and mavericks new found friend.  Fook me now the panic has really set in.  I call for him, Im begging for his return when all of a sudden, my neighbour looks up at the house and says, ummm unless you have Mavericks twin , I think thats him , in the UPSTAIRS window.  I turn beat red, mumble something about a huge stressload and not enough fireball and enter back ito the love shack. Up I go and by this time , Maverick is where he was all along, snuggled down in our bed, covered up with his head on the pillow.  He was never lost, I just paniced and thought I had forgotten him outside for 2 hours and he had escaped the confines of collar and tie out. You know they say rolaids spell relief, however finding your dog that was never lost, not having to call your boyfriend at work to say I lost your dog, and being able to hold that dog close and tell him you love him, to me spells relief.

 The day is going to be great, I was told yesterday by the warden I dont have to report to class, as I did my project yesterday and my presentation , and thats all was going to happen today, so she said I could take the day off. Guess you could say I am out on good behaviour. Great I say, I can take the day to clean the love shack, cram for my final tomorrow, and quite possibly grab a nap.  That is until the phone rang.

  It was Isaac !  I said what did you forget now? he replies nothing, I am in the office with my teacher . By this point my face is as pink as my new hoodie, and he hasnt even told me why he is in the office with his teacher, but being a kid once I know nothing good ever comes out of that.  He goes on to explain to me that he was taken out of class, because he was being disruptive while they were reviewing for a science test tomorrow.  Ok so now I am livid, and thats an understatement.  The dog takes off, ( at least this time I know where he went), the cat drops his toy and skidaddles into the kitchen to comfort eat.  And I LOSE IT.  I talk to his teacher, who by this time tells Isaac to wait for her with the vice principal. She goes on to say he was talking non stop, and when told to stop, acted quite smug.  I told her welcome to my world, this is what I have been dealing with the last few days, and he is about to find out that his phone privlidges are OVER. You hear that you little hussie wanna be's who call and talk for hours, over , and over for at least a week, cause this my friends is how this bitch rolls.

  He was also told that if he gets one test back that is not a passing grade I will make damn good and sure that he is off the basketball team.  I also mentioned that to the teacher.  She is going to email me his marks tomorrow morning, and Im here to tell you if they are not good grades, I will show that kid where the bear shit in the buckwheat patch.  AHHHHHHH there I feel a bit better now, the dog is now laying by my feet and the cat, has stopped his comfort eating and is rubbing against my legs.  I am not going to let his actions dictate how the rest of my day will be.  I am going to smile, clean and cram all in that order.  And hopefully when he arrives home from school, he will have lost his attitude, and start respecting people.  To that I say to all of you how have children, the old Sam Cooke song said, mama said there would be days like this, and until you are a mother, you have no idea how true those words really are. May you all have so much happiness, you can all say, "I'm so happy I could shit rainbows and fart fairy dust"