Tales Of A Sicky

Hello and welcome back


  I hope none of you have this flu, to put it simply IT SUCKS ! So get comfy, grab your favorite beverage of choice( if I drink any more mint tea I will surely puke) and join me on my whirl wind adventure of Tales of a sicky.

  Normally I am what I like to think of as a robust healthy person, full of life and laughter, and usually high on life. Today however, I am freezing, achy, somewhat emotional and high on the scent of vicks vapor rub and buckley cold and flu meds.  Not at all like myself and I guess you should all know this, I am not a happy patient !!! Sickness does not sit well with me to say the least.  I am almost possitive that if you asked my beloved Trevor if he had the choice of being around me when Im sick or being near snakes, which he is terrified of, he would most likely take the snakes.  A snake you can run from, a snake doesnt talk, usually they arent demanding and from what I know about snakes, they dont weep and want to be held when they are sick.  I however do, I cant sleep, therefore neither could Trev, Im freezing so therefore Trevor would be dying of the heat.  I cant taste anything, therefore I wouldnt be able to taste his delicious cooking, not even his special sauce is tempting me today.  Hey get your minds out of the gutter !!! Im talking about his cream sauce with onions and mushrooms,I eat that stuff on everything its to die for.  Point being perverts I have no appetite which is just as well seeing as I cant taste anything.  It is also why Im cranky, I love to eat and hate it when I cant.

  I also learned a very valuable as well as painful lesson today , When you apply vicks vapor rub to your chest, make sure you wash your hands carefully afterwards.  Let me explain.  You see I applied the vicks to my chest the way my mama always did to me when I was little, however even though I thought a quick swish under the tap would rid my hands of the vicks IT DIDNT.  I then proceded to pee out my 8th glass of water and my 3rd cup of mint tea.  I am sure you can all see where this is going and its ok , you can laugh !  Basically my hand hit my bare ass and now not only do I still have teeth marks from the cat I now have vicks vapor rub on my ass !!!!! holyyyyyyyyyyy fire, feel the burn and believe me not in a good way.  I am pleased to say after applying a freezing cold cloth to my now cat bitten vicks attacked ass cheek , it is a bit better now.

  Another thing I learned ! VICKS SUCKS !!!! it didnt clear my chest, it didnt bring back child hood memories, it made my eyes water, my ass burn and my clothing reek !  Good thing its Trevor's professional door deals are hot shirt cause ladies I want you to know, after I put that so called medicated oinment on my chest I was HOT and not in the sexy way either.  From there I thought hmm got two new movies the other day $5 each at walmart, might as well watch those.  Made it through the first one, only had a few interuptions, the beast needed out, the "starving" cat needed fed, and my cloth for my hiney needed more cold water to it. I say to myself, SELF , things are looking up, self says hey moran your nose is running and the phones going to ring !  This self person must have esp or shes just damn smart havent decided yet. I tell self to shut up and enjoy the movie.

 The second movie just starts getting good, indians are capturing whiteman taking to river ,,,,, and thats all I got to see because the F***KING phone rang 6 times, 6 times people and it was the same person each time.  So help me Dyin Jesus I dont care about basketball, if your kid has a drive or if mine needs a drive and yadi yadi yadi.  Finally I say look Im sick, Im going back to lay down.  I hit the pause button the movie is back on, indians taking whiteman to river,,,,,, oh for christ sakes now what !!! Something catches my eye from the couch, I look towards the back door only to see the beast leaping in the air trying to get my attention. I say to myself, SELF, be you didnt see that one coming did you. Self says nope and you wont see the rest of the movie either because A, you need to pee, B your dying of thirst, And C, go write your blog you lazy bitch.  That self person is a slave driver, always has to keep doing something, always has to be in control god she reminds me of me !  So there we have it a day in the life of a sicky.  I am still miserable, cranky, emotional and all I want is for Trevor to be home so I could snuggle into him and have a nap.  Friday feels like its going to take forever to get here.  May you all be well and sick free and may you all be so happy you can say "I"m so happy I could shit rainbows, and fart fairy dust.