Sunday Stumbles

Hello and welcome back !


  My day didnt start out much better then my night ended last night thankfully I can report I made it through it and survived.  I have one rule that I make sure gets followed everytime, that rule is never go to bed angry !  Sounds easy but sometimes its harder then one would think, the main thing is that the last words before you fall asleep are words of love , life is to short to be angry and it just causes wrinkles.  I was awoken at 8am a mere 5 .5 hours after I had falled into a fitful , not so great sleep by not Maverick doing his I have to pee Im so happy to see you dance, but to Isaac opening and slamming doors. By the 4th time of doing this I finally flew out of the bed, threw on my penguin jammies, and warm slippers and came downstairs.  The cat gave me a look like man Im starving , but Ive seen that look before and it aint pretty , so go ahead and do whatcha gotta do mom, I can wait another 2 minutes to get fed.  I hit the bottom of the stairs at a break neck speed, and uttered these words, if you slam one more F****king door I will personally take everyone off the hinges, doors are a privledge and there are kids living in grass huts in africa without doors.  I also told him I went to bed in one hell of a pissy mood and it hasnt gotten much better after hearing him go through the house like a bull elephant on a booty call.

  I think he got the point because the next time he opened a door he no longer slammed it, maybe it was my words , hell maybe it was the fact that I looked like a rednecked crazy lady Im not sure, but whatever it was, the only sound I heard was the blessed sound of silence,,,, for a minute or two.  The cat by this time is starving because you know its been a full 4 hours since he has eaten.  The dog is doing the whole ass wiggle, whimper whiny thing telling me that his bladder is going to burst and he will not be held responsible for the mess.  Cat fed, dog out to do what ever the hell dogs do, usually he stands there and sniffs for a full 20 minutes then does his business.  Coffee I say that will kickstart my heart, however by this time I have a huge headache and it was not from drinking half a quart of fireball 5.5 hours before, tylenol I say take the pills then have a coffee.  I then get to endure a full hour of the tv show cops, just freaking great I say, what a way to start my day, surely to jesus the day has got to get better, and it did , Trevor woke up, all was well , just like no words were ever spoken the night before.  Things go great for a full half hour , that is until I decide to do laundry.  Now normally laundry isnt a complicated process, today I have found it can be a pretty shitty job. So sit back with your drink of choice and come with me on my epic journey of a half crazed, half hungover laundry wench.

  Down I go arms full of laundry, I can do this I say , I do this usually on a daily basis. I get to the bottom of the stairs only to discover,,,, water is in the basement, and not just any water my friends, we arent talking about almost extinct water from glaciers, oh hell no ! We are talking about brown water, stinky water, and water with chunks in it. Yes my friends we are talking about sewer water. Just when I didnt think my day could get much shittier, I was wrong !  Back up I go , my redheaded temper is WILD , I slap on Luke's tall boots that are id say 3 sizes to big for me, light a smoke to help calm my nerves and start my epic journey with plunger in hand.  Trevor thinks this would be a good time to start laughing, I said what the hell is so funny, he says thats quite the look honey,  I look down and here I am, wild hair do going on yet again, penguin jammies, boots on me that are 3 times to big, a smoke danglin from my lips and a plunger in my hand.  Oh yeah baby I was stylin and looking so sexy Im sure Trevor was having a hard time controlling his urges.  Down I go slam the plunger in the whole and what should happen? the goddamn plunger decides to snap in half, oh yes the handle came right off , poor Trevor must have gotten the shit scared out of him, no pun intended because I let out a war cry , said some very unlady like words and said to hell with it.  Broken plunger in hand, I attack the hole, I plunge and plunge, chunky junk is surrounding me, but did this half crazed half hungover redneck woman cringe, hell nooooooooo because when I start out on something I dont stop until I have won. And the battle of the turds were not going to defeat me.  I gave it one more good plunge and finally I got what I was looking for, The beautiful sound of water being unmercifully sucked back down the damn hole it had the neve to come up out of anyways.  This time I let out a cheer, the battle of the turds didnt outbeat me. I was so happy I could shit rainbows and fart fairy dust, had I not been afraid to clog the damn pipe again.  Up the stairs I come and proudly proclaim that yes I may be a woman and a damn sexy one at that, but did I have to call a plumber, hell no I kicked major ass , cause thats how this bitch rolls.  After my major battle , I needed a nap, got up had a shower and then we went to get some groceries and a new plunger .  Not a bad ending for what started out to be a real shitty one.  So there you have it my friends, no matter what shit is handed to me, I make the best out of every situation.  May all your days be so happy, you to can proudly exclaim, "I'm so happy, I could shit rainbows and fart fairydust"